In school I learned that people in India worship cows. I thought that was ridiculous, and still do. What was wrong with those silly Indians? They have no sense. And I learned that India has a caste system, and that people on the bottom of it have no chance in hell of ever rising. I thought that was stupid, and very unfair. What was wrong with those crazy Indians? Why can’t they be sensible like we are?

It took me a while to realize that Americans are no better. Sure, we don’t worship cows, but don’t we worship dogs? Of course we do! We even invite them into our beds. Indians don’t invite animals into their beds. Indians don’t celebrate the birthdays of their favorite cows. Indians don’t spend fortunes pampering their pet cows. Those crazy Indians don’t treat animals like children, as Americans do. So who are the crazy ones? Cows at least are not predators; dogs are. Why do we make love objects of predators? What do predators have to do with love? Does that thin veneer of domestication really make such a difference? Are Big Bad Wolves cute and cuddly and adorable as infants? They must be, because we dote on their close cousins. Dogs attack millions of Americans each year, most of them little children. Cow attacks are not a problem. So if we insist on making love objects of animals, it seems to me that cows would be a more logical choice.

And don’t Americans also have an iron-clad caste system? Don’t we also have our untouchables mired firmly in place at the bottom of the social order?

I rest my case.

P.S. Of course I know why we make love objects of predators: it is because they don't taste good!