Book idea
OK, I promised to upload an excerpt from a book idea that I have. It's a kind of semi-autobiographical/humerous retrospect of my life.
Living with Deformities, My Mathlete Life
A humorous outlook on how numbers rule my life.
When most people hear me say ‘mathlete’ they naturally assume that I meant athlete. They’re wrong though I don’t always correct them. Looking at my overweight body and considering my age, if they want to believe that I’m an athlete, who am I to deny them? OK, so maybe they just think I’m crazy but what the heck!
I’ve had an affinity and aptitude for numbers since I was young. Back as far as I can remember, numbers have ruled my life. Yes I said as far as I can remember. Remembering back to my younger days is much easier than remembering back to last week. Age hasn’t just caught up to me, it’s actually caught up, beat me severely about the head and shoulders, ran on, only to come back and beat me again because it was soooo much fun the first time. I find myself constantly looking at someone at work and thinking to myself ‘what the heck is his name?’ But I digress. *** That was my obligatory 25 cent word. I have to throw one of those in every so often to prove how smart I am. ***
Now where was I? Ah yes, numbers. I love working with numbers though it seems that when age beat me up, it beat some of my ability to perform simpler math. This is because keeping a balanced checkbook seems a bit beyond me at times while much more exotic math just seems like a walk in the park. But where did it all begin? Let’s see now …
Back in my younger days the number 4 was a prime motivator. It was the first of the squared numbers (if you don’t count 1 which is an odd number and doesn’t count anyhow). I did things in fours, bought things in fours, ate in fours (four bites, four pieces of candy, etc). Yes 4 was the ultimate lucky number. Yep, the number 4 was the ruler of the mathematical universe … until I gave it a bit more thought and logically concluded that if the square of the prime square was good, then the square of the square of the prime square would be just that much better! Yeah, the number 16 now ruled my universe and all luck was derived from that number. So now I did things in 16. Bought things in groups of 16, which was getting a bit expensive even though all I was buying at the time was penny candy and comic books. Yes, penny candy was only a penny when I was young so sue me if I’m old. Eating and chewing in multiples of 16 is what lead to me being just a BIT overweight when I was young.
I’d gained more weight than I care to admit before I came to the conclusion that 4 truly was the ruler of the mathematical universe since you needed 4 times 4 to create 16. See the logic? No? Well maybe it was just me, as I said, I am/was a mathlete and things like this only seem to make sense to other mathletes … or maybe just to me in my own twisted little mathematical universe of Jeff.
Now by the time I’d reverted to the number 4 ruling the universe I was in Junior High School and was introduced to algebra! OMG, new ways to play with numbers?! Yep, I went there, internet shorthand is the greatest invention ever but I’ll get back to that later.
Anyway, in Junior High I attended a math competition at another school. Actually it was at a nearby Community College or something (the details are a bit fuzzy) but I had a great time. The math was fun but at the time I grew bored with it as my eyes were opened to science. It didn’t hurt that my uncle was an engineer for JPL back in the early days of space travel. Yes, math was the foundation for most science so it couldn’t be bad could it?
Well ask my mom about that. You see I saw a perfectly logical connection between math and chemistry! Yep, chemical formulae were mathematically derived allowing you to create a totally new substance when you combine two or more ingredients. Yes, if you combine just the right ingredients you could make things like ink or a foaming volcano or small explosions! Yes chemistry was a bit of mathematical fun. Remember when I told you that you should ask my mom about it? Well I had this Uncle Ed who was the one who always listened when I told mom what I wanted for my birthday or Christmas. She’d just shake her head saying ‘that’s too dangerous’ or the ever ready fall back ‘we can’t afford that’. Now we all know that ‘we can’t afford that’ is usually mom-speak for ‘I don’t care what you say, I’m not getting you that. You’ll put your eye out’.
Uncle Ed, being the rebel that he was and only a few years older than I am, would find a way to get it for me. You should have seen mom’s face the Christmas he got me a real bow and arrow set. Yep, Uncle Ed was my surrogate father figure after my dad died. Now to get to the point about ‘ask mom’. One Christmas I asked for a Chemistry set that I had seen down at the local 5 and Dime (old time word for department store). I got the usual response from mom on request like that, but Uncle Ed heard me ask and, come Christmas morning in the town of Bryan, Ohio, I was the proud owner of a fantastic Chemistry set and a book full of experiments. I was ecstatic! I’m sure that mom gave Uncle Ed the stink eye when she saw him but a gift is a gift and I had it in my hot grubby mitts. So a table was set up in the basement where I could start my career as a mad scientist and, of course, not destroy mom’s light blue wall-to-wall light blue carpeting.
Alas, my career as a mad scientist/budding chemist came to an abrupt halt. It was all because I was performing an experiment that involved small amounts of baking soda and vinegar to emulate a small volcano. Well the number 4 came to mind. Wait, what if I quadrupled the quantities, would that make the volcano spew more? Well if 4 times the amount would be awesome then 16 times would be unbelievably better.
Yes, you guessed it, I had a bubbling mess spewing all over the table and onto the floor in no time at all. Not to mention that I had used up all the baking soda and vinegar in the house at the time. Mom wasn’t as impressed as I was with the way it just kind of grew like an alien from outer space coming into contact with out atmosphere for the first time.
Yes, my engineering Uncle at JPL had an influence in expanding my imagination too ...
Living with Deformities, My Mathlete Life
A humorous outlook on how numbers rule my life.
When most people hear me say ‘mathlete’ they naturally assume that I meant athlete. They’re wrong though I don’t always correct them. Looking at my overweight body and considering my age, if they want to believe that I’m an athlete, who am I to deny them? OK, so maybe they just think I’m crazy but what the heck!
I’ve had an affinity and aptitude for numbers since I was young. Back as far as I can remember, numbers have ruled my life. Yes I said as far as I can remember. Remembering back to my younger days is much easier than remembering back to last week. Age hasn’t just caught up to me, it’s actually caught up, beat me severely about the head and shoulders, ran on, only to come back and beat me again because it was soooo much fun the first time. I find myself constantly looking at someone at work and thinking to myself ‘what the heck is his name?’ But I digress. *** That was my obligatory 25 cent word. I have to throw one of those in every so often to prove how smart I am. ***
Now where was I? Ah yes, numbers. I love working with numbers though it seems that when age beat me up, it beat some of my ability to perform simpler math. This is because keeping a balanced checkbook seems a bit beyond me at times while much more exotic math just seems like a walk in the park. But where did it all begin? Let’s see now …
Back in my younger days the number 4 was a prime motivator. It was the first of the squared numbers (if you don’t count 1 which is an odd number and doesn’t count anyhow). I did things in fours, bought things in fours, ate in fours (four bites, four pieces of candy, etc). Yes 4 was the ultimate lucky number. Yep, the number 4 was the ruler of the mathematical universe … until I gave it a bit more thought and logically concluded that if the square of the prime square was good, then the square of the square of the prime square would be just that much better! Yeah, the number 16 now ruled my universe and all luck was derived from that number. So now I did things in 16. Bought things in groups of 16, which was getting a bit expensive even though all I was buying at the time was penny candy and comic books. Yes, penny candy was only a penny when I was young so sue me if I’m old. Eating and chewing in multiples of 16 is what lead to me being just a BIT overweight when I was young.
I’d gained more weight than I care to admit before I came to the conclusion that 4 truly was the ruler of the mathematical universe since you needed 4 times 4 to create 16. See the logic? No? Well maybe it was just me, as I said, I am/was a mathlete and things like this only seem to make sense to other mathletes … or maybe just to me in my own twisted little mathematical universe of Jeff.
Now by the time I’d reverted to the number 4 ruling the universe I was in Junior High School and was introduced to algebra! OMG, new ways to play with numbers?! Yep, I went there, internet shorthand is the greatest invention ever but I’ll get back to that later.
Anyway, in Junior High I attended a math competition at another school. Actually it was at a nearby Community College or something (the details are a bit fuzzy) but I had a great time. The math was fun but at the time I grew bored with it as my eyes were opened to science. It didn’t hurt that my uncle was an engineer for JPL back in the early days of space travel. Yes, math was the foundation for most science so it couldn’t be bad could it?
Well ask my mom about that. You see I saw a perfectly logical connection between math and chemistry! Yep, chemical formulae were mathematically derived allowing you to create a totally new substance when you combine two or more ingredients. Yes, if you combine just the right ingredients you could make things like ink or a foaming volcano or small explosions! Yes chemistry was a bit of mathematical fun. Remember when I told you that you should ask my mom about it? Well I had this Uncle Ed who was the one who always listened when I told mom what I wanted for my birthday or Christmas. She’d just shake her head saying ‘that’s too dangerous’ or the ever ready fall back ‘we can’t afford that’. Now we all know that ‘we can’t afford that’ is usually mom-speak for ‘I don’t care what you say, I’m not getting you that. You’ll put your eye out’.
Uncle Ed, being the rebel that he was and only a few years older than I am, would find a way to get it for me. You should have seen mom’s face the Christmas he got me a real bow and arrow set. Yep, Uncle Ed was my surrogate father figure after my dad died. Now to get to the point about ‘ask mom’. One Christmas I asked for a Chemistry set that I had seen down at the local 5 and Dime (old time word for department store). I got the usual response from mom on request like that, but Uncle Ed heard me ask and, come Christmas morning in the town of Bryan, Ohio, I was the proud owner of a fantastic Chemistry set and a book full of experiments. I was ecstatic! I’m sure that mom gave Uncle Ed the stink eye when she saw him but a gift is a gift and I had it in my hot grubby mitts. So a table was set up in the basement where I could start my career as a mad scientist and, of course, not destroy mom’s light blue wall-to-wall light blue carpeting.
Alas, my career as a mad scientist/budding chemist came to an abrupt halt. It was all because I was performing an experiment that involved small amounts of baking soda and vinegar to emulate a small volcano. Well the number 4 came to mind. Wait, what if I quadrupled the quantities, would that make the volcano spew more? Well if 4 times the amount would be awesome then 16 times would be unbelievably better.
Yes, you guessed it, I had a bubbling mess spewing all over the table and onto the floor in no time at all. Not to mention that I had used up all the baking soda and vinegar in the house at the time. Mom wasn’t as impressed as I was with the way it just kind of grew like an alien from outer space coming into contact with out atmosphere for the first time.
Yes, my engineering Uncle at JPL had an influence in expanding my imagination too ...
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