“Hey, Libertarian! Get off our sidewalk!” is a saying I like to use to mock the hollowness and hypocrisy of the Libertarian movement. After watching an episode of American Experience called “The Poison Squad,” I may add this nugget to my repertoire: “Hey, Libertarian! Shouldn’t you be home inspecting your beef?”

Libertarians, in case you hadn’t guessed, give me indigestion. Their claims to champion freedom are little more than a thin veil over an essential selfishness that says, “You go your way ...