Years ago, I wrote a post about Arden starting school. It held all the apprehension of a parent sending their child off into the world for the first time. Or at least that’s how I felt. Her dad lived in a good area and she would attend a great school. Even after I moved to Franklin Park, I drove her back and forth every day. She had nothing to worry about. It was just the change of it all, that I struggled with adjusting to. But this story is about her brother. To say Cam is a lot is an understatement. When I was pregnant with him, I told my belly that he would need to be rough and tumble to roll with me (as I hooked up a trailer to cart supplies and trash out of a house we were rehabbing.) He didn’t disappoint. He is extremely full of life, craziness and love.

We moved to Franklin Park shortly after Cam was born. It is a place of lovely 100 year-old homes, not far from downtown, that require massive amounts of labor. It is a work-in-progress neighborhood. In two years, a block away, the Historic Trolley Barn building will be completed in renovations including restaurants, a market, a brewery and apartments. It will bring in a vibrancy that the area needs, along with improving the schools and raising our taxes. But for now, some things are not so great and one of those things is the school we were assigned.

Cam’s birthday is at the beginning of August, he would just be turning 5. Did he need challenged or should we wait a year? If we went for it, he would end up following in a line of his sister and myself that started right at the cusp as well. We agonized over it and by the time we came to a decision, we had missed the chance to try to lottery in for a better school. But, we were on the wait list! A friend of mine had even started as a new kindergarten teacher there, so it was serendipitous, right?

A week before school started, we were 30th on the wait list for our first choice. At this point, we had to force ourselves to be optimistic. Our assigned school had multiple community partners, was beautifully remodeled and had an awesome new play area. The teacher was quite likable. We heard positive reviews. The school staff would have the kids recite a uplifting mantra in the gym every morning as a confidence boost. It was off to a good start for the 3-day week before Labor Day.

The following week declined. Cam was knocked down on the playground from behind and yelled at from a much taller classmate for wearing nail polish. Cam is not the kind of kid that gets pushed around, so it was unsettling. (The act was presumably done to draw attention away from the fact that the boy didn’t even own a uniform and was coming to school a bit unkempt. Still, it’s unacceptable behavior.) Cam loves nail polish because it’s fun and sparkly. We don’t say things to Cam, like “nail polish is just for girls” because that would be mean and we aren’t assholes. So we all supported him and showed him rock stars, actors and athletes that all are men and all wear polish. He told me it was dumb, then hung the collage up in his room.

By the middle of the 3rd week, there had been a couple more instances that didn’t even involve the polish, since it had worn off. The details are hazy, because out of the 3, only one instance was reported by the school lunchroom. The principal blamed Cam for not reporting everything to his teacher at circle time. (If only a 5 year old could be more accountable for the actions of others!) We weren’t satisfied with the school’s techniques or solutions. While their formula may work well for many students, our bright, boisterous kid was now withdrawn and reserved. It was clear that it wasn’t just him being nervous about starting school anymore.

He coincidentally got his second cold of the school year, so I researched like mad to find a solution that wasn’t $8,000+ or required a new mortgage. It was a labyrinth of stops and starts. It’s times like this where we pushed to advocate for our child, because in reality no one is about to jump in and save the day when the status quo is just fine. Fortunately, our sleepless nights paid off. We found a charter school, not far from where his sister attends. The inside of the building has not been remodeled in a while. But the classroom has cloud decorations and twinkly lights strung from the ceiling instead of florescent. There is music playing when they arrive. They can look at a book on the rug or go sit on the couch and chill before their day starts.

And now Cam’s biggest worry is the little girl who chases him around trying to give him a hug.