When I was a little girl, I used to beg my dad to let me walk alone around the neighborhoods in Peru. Since we lived in a gated, semi-guarded community, my dad would relent somewhat and let me walk alone. But he was always protective of me and warned me to be very careful.

As a young woman who enjoys traveling and being out in the world, I understand the feeling of vulnerability that comes when I, as a female, walk alone.

I’ve been followed by men multiple times in at least four different countries. Since I was probably 11 or 12, men have yelled or catcalled at me. Even when I’m driving, guys in the cars around me have tried to get my attention in inappropriate and unwelcome ways.

One time last year, I went to this beautiful park in downtown Pensacola. As I drove slowly around the corner of the park, I had my windows down and my music up. There were several men there cleaning the park. When they saw my car, half a dozen guys starting yelling comments at me, catcalling, and trying to get my attention. In that moment, I decided it would be safer to leave instead of getting out of my car and walking alone around the park.

Recently a guy asked me if I considered getting attention from male strangers as a compliment. To be honest, I don’t.

I don’t feel beautiful or respected when guys I don’t know (or guys at all!) make sexual remarks on my appearance. I feel disgusted, uncomfortable, and depending on the situation, even scared when guys approach me in this way.

Men have leered, followed, and verbally accosted me. What I have experienced is much less than what other women have gone through. I’ve not been raped or molested or physically violated in any way.

But when I walk the streets, my mind stays on high alert. I do what I can to stay safe and be attentive. Whenever I’m in a city that I don’t know, I view every man around me as a potential threat. That sounds extreme and unfair, since the percentage of those men who are actual threats is low.

However, when I am alone, I don’t take chances. I have to revert to cynicism just to ensure that I don’t let down my guard.

Only if I am walking with a guy or a group, can I allow myself to relax. Men rarely approach me or talk inappropriately to me when another man is walking beside me.

Today, I saw the following quote shared on Instagram:

“We talk about how many women were raped last year, not about how many men raped women. We talk about how many girls in a school district were harassed last year, not about how many boys harassed girls. We talk about how many teenaged girls got pregnant in the state of Vermont last year, rather than how many men and teenaged boys got girls pregnant.

“So you can see how the use of this passive voice has a political effect. It shifts the focus off men and boys and onto girls and women.

“Even the term violence against women is problematic. It’s a passive construction. There’s no active agent in the sentence. It’s a bad thing that happens to women. It’s a bad thing that happens to women, but when you look at that term violence against women, nobody is doing it to them. It just happens. Men aren’t even a part of it!”

—Jackson Katz, PH.D, from his TED Talk “Violence Against Women: It’s a Men’s Issue”

As a grammar teacher, I have taught the difference between active and passive. With an active verb, the subject of the sentence takes responsibility for the action taking place. But when the verb is passive, the person who did the action is hidden away at the end of the sentence or not even present in the sentence at all.

I tell my students to think of passive as “passive aggressive” because an action is still taking place, but no one is taking responsibility for it.

The sentence “women were raped” does not reveal who did the action of raping them. It only reveals the action itself and who received the action.

Last year, one of the books I was reading included a conversation that really stood out to me. In the book, a man explains to his teenage niece why rape is never justified—no matter the situation. In the book, a teenage girl was at a party. She was dressed very sensually, she was inebriated, and she had been flirting all night with the guys around her. By the end of the night, she was passed out and one of the other teenagers took advantage of the situation and raped her. According to the other students at the party, she had been “asking for it.”

The uncle, in a very respectful and clear way, explained why none of this girl’s actions justified the violence that was done against her. He compared it to a situation where someone would’ve driven a new car to the party, bragged about it all night, and waved the keys in everyone’s face. If one of the people at the party had taken this as an invitation to steal the car, their theft still would not have been justified, even if the car owner had been flaunting the car all night.

To me, this simple example did an incredible job showing why rape—or violence of any kind—is never justified.

As we think about this issue, I know that many other difficult issues come to mind. Issues such as pornography, sex slavery, domestic abuse, and child abuse.

The world can be a dark and dangerous place because of sin.

I do not hate men. But I do hate the violence that men have done, and continue to do, against women around the world.

If there were no men at all, I would feel safe to go alone at night to the beach. I would not hesitate to solo road trip across the States or to explore Europe on my own. Yes, women do harm other women. But my ability to defend myself against another woman is much, much higher then my ability to defend myself against a man.

I believe that God gave men strength that they might protect women and children, not physically harm them. But, sin—the great corrupter of all that is good—has led men to abuse and misuse the strength they were trusted with.

I want to conclude, however, with hope. Because I do believe that despite the evil around is, we can still cling to the hope we find in Christ.

One of my favorite Psalms begins with these words: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea” (Psalm 46:1-3).

God is our source of strength. No matter what we face, we can turn to Him and call upon His name. We can ask Him for strength when we are weak. His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

Verse 5 says, “God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved; God shall help her, just at the break of dawn.”

I will not be moved by this world. I will continue to walk in faith and trust in my God.