In my opinion, first year teachers for the 2020-2021 school year deserve an award for perseverance and flexibility. Teachers have taught virtually, in-person, back to virtual and back to in-person teaching. This doesn’t create a strong sense of community because of a lack of stability for some students. Many students look to school for stability due to issues at home. This will be a long blog post but please read it all. Reading it all will be worthwhile.

My first year of teaching was not a normal one either. I graduated December 8, 1989 and December 11, 1989 I was teaching by myself in my own classroom. The previous week while I was in the workroom I overheard one of the teachers say, “There goes that room 10 again!”. I was taking over room 10. I responded that I was taking over that class and the conversation quickly ended. I knew then that I was in for a tough year especially coming in mid school year.

My first day came to a halting and frightening end when a parent had been watching from the window in the door and opened the door abruptly to yell at her child because he was ‘not paying attention’ to what I was trying to teach. When I graduated, I was 5’2” and weighed about 95 pounds. The parent was at least 6’2” and 250 pounds. I was no match to stand up to her and panicked when she flung open the door. I did my best to direct the parent to the office and regained control of the class. We had one week together and then went off to winter break for two weeks. Any ground I gained I lost as I had to start all over with rules, expectations and gaining control after the holidays.

About a month into teaching on my own, the same parent had been watching outside the door and again yanked it open and started yelling at her son. She proceeded to take him to the front of the class and announced she was going to ‘whoop him’ in front of us because he was not paying attention. She repeatedly hit him with her thick, long belt over and over. She was yelling, he was yelling and crying, my second grade students were crying and I had to send a student to the office to explain what was happening as we didn’t have a PA system to communicate to the office. Unfortunately, my principal was in a meeting so I was on my own. I kept telling the parent that this was not the place to do that and that she needed to go to the office. I don’t remember how but eventually the situation diffused itself and later I find myself face to face in the principal’s office with the counselor and parent. Definitely not where I wanted to be and they practically had to drag me in to meet with the principal, counselor and parent.

We pursued testing for the parent’s student for ED and when the nurse was examining him for hearing, temperature, vision, etc. she was attempting to take his blood pressure and noticed that the student had rubber bands around his wrists to keep his sweater sleeves in place. Underneath the sweater sleeves, were severe bruises that were slowly healing. On his torso, and I will and have never forgotten what I saw, were more bruises including a newer bruise of a belt that was about 2 inches wide with several holes for the buckle part to lock the belt in place. You could clearly see the outline of the belt and holes on the student’s dark African American skin. His legs had outlines of extension cords folded and several round circles of healed over skin that looked like a cigarette had been put out on the student’s arms and shoulders. It was horrifying, terrifying and something that has been unforgettable knowing what that 8 year old student must have repeatedly suffered.

We reported the parent for child abuse and the city social worker in to make a home visit. She called to set up an appointment to talk to the parent. The parent said she was doing her best and the house was neat, clean and tidy when the social worker visited. Because we had taken pictures, we had visible proof that the child abuse had occurred. When the parent was informed that the school was pursing things legally, I was told to keep my door locked all day and not to stay in the room when the dismissal bell rang. We did not have a PA system and knew the parent would be up there trying to confront me. She popped into the room the minute the bell rang and students were dismissed. I didn’t have a chance. I finally got her out of the room and headed straight for the office. The parent followed me down the hallway, down the stairs and to the office saying I had no right to report her, etc. I told her I wasn’t the one that did the reporting as I couldn’t think of much to say to this woman that towered over me and wore an ankle bracelet for beating up a guy at the nearest convenience store.

The principal and counselor intervened and were ready to ‘meet’ with the parent after school. The parent turned on the water works, which the principal and counselor were used to but I certainly wasn’t. Time went on and I think the parent received a warning and received a slap on the wrist. The parent later put the student in a student psychiatric home. I went to visit the student and the parent hadn’t been there in several days to visit her son. It was a very sad predicament. My principal told me that if I could make it to the end of the year, the rest of my teaching career would be a breeze compared to that year.

Things went on but whenever the parent popped in I had a panic attack. I would have to go over to my desk or a student’s desk and get my mind and breathing in order. I had to slow my heart rate down so that I could breathe and speak without shaking. My students would start crying and chaos would break out each time she popped in. We didn’t have outside doors locked and the parent would go in the back way so she wasn’t noticed by the admins to stop her from disrupting class. Eventually we got a retraining order that prevented her from coming on to campus unless she was specifically called to pick up her son.

Later on when the students were in fifth grade, the teacher told the student his parent had been called and was going to come and pick him up. I don’t know why the parent told the students that but he did. Every time the door would open, the students would stop what they were doing and look towards the door. They didn’t forget what happened just as I hadn’t and wouldn’t.

Teachers this year are experiencing severe emotional situations having to teach virtually, in person and in hybrid situations. Many schools have gone back and forth between virtual and in-person settings. Having to wear masks knowing that exposed students to COVID could set off a dangerous situation for their students, themselves and their families. Many students and teachers have lost relatives or their lives from COVID. Every day, teachers bravely go to school, face their students, and fight a formidable opponent to ensure that students are prepared for extra-curricular activities, sports, and college. This year has been like no other year but I can relate to having a first year like no other. I can partially relate to what first year teachers are experiencing this year. The emotional ups and downs, trying to figure out what needs to be taught and what should be a priority to prepare for testing – an YES, Texas is preparing to test students this year. All while trying to create a ‘normal’ environment for students to learn and excel in preparation for the next grade level or graduation.

Please keep this first year teacher in your thoughts. Many will not return to teaching after this first year. Many will have lingering emotional stressors and doubts in future school year. It is difficult to support a first year teacher when you are putting out ‘fires’ in your own classroom.

Despite it all, we do our best for our students no matter what subject or grade level we teach. Our hearts are in the right place. Reaching a student and making a difference in at least one life of our students is what makes it all worthwhile. Seeing a student suddenly experience success for the first time makes it all worthwhile. Having a student score a touchdown in the that night’s football makes it all worthwhile. Hearing that a student was accepted into the college of their choice makes it all worthwhile. Watching a student overcome daily obstacles to attend and engage in school activities, virtually or in-person, makes it all worthwhile. Observing a student doing their best work makes it all worthwhile. Teaching as a first year teacher makes it all worthwhile.