I’m working on Book 3 in the Callie Cassidy Mystery series, and it’s causing me some serious anxiety. You see, my main character is about to have a fight with her boyfriend. I’m not sure yet, but it may even lead to a break-up.

And I can hardly stand the idea.

I understand that tension is integral to any good story, and it’s especially vital in a mystery. As a reader, tension keeps me turning pages. As a moviegoer, friction keeps me perched on the edge of my seat. My cuticles have paid the price for many a good high-pressure scene.

But as a writer, I find creating stress for my characters an agonizing necessity, especially when that stress involves their relationships. My heart palpitates, my teeth grind, and my fingers tremble as I type these fictional people into romantic distress.

I’ve spent a little time the past few days trying to examine why this aspect of storytelling causes me so much discomfort. What is it about my personality that makes me sweat when my characters squirm? And I think I’ve nailed the answer. I’m a pleaser.

There, I admitted it. Since I was a child, it’s been my nature to want people around me to be happy. I don’t feel quite settled if they’re not in sync. I realize that’s not necessarily a positive trait, nor is it always healthy or even helpful, but my knee-jerk response to conflict is to attempt to make things better. This is true even if I’m not part of the conflict. I’ve struggled against this aspect of my personality throughout my life. So writing these characters—people I’ve grown to care about despite their fictional status—into contention causes me existential angst.

It’s strange that my protagonist, Callie Cassidy, doesn’t seem to have the same internal stumbling block. Oh, she has issues of her own, many of which I don’t share, but being a pleaser isn’t one of them. Callie is stalwartly independent, sometimes to a fault, and she almost always does what she believes is right, even if it means someone else won’t be pleased with her. I wonder sometimes if I implant in Callie the qualities I’m trying to nurture in myself.

Who knew my writing career would become a journey into psychological self-analysis? But poor Callie and Sam—they’re about to face the consequences of my inner growth.