Physical, digital and financial clutter are draining, but the worst form of clutter is emotional clutter. What is emotional clutter? It’s hanging on to old hurts, walking in unforgiveness and maintaining toxic relationships. Most of us have been hurt by others, and most of us have to maintain some toxic relationships, but we can make an effort to mend the wounds of the past, forgive those who’ve wounded us and limit our exposure to toxic people.

Perhaps the most important piece of letting go of past hurts is giving up the desire to get back at those who hurt us. Forgiveness is setting the person free of the punishment that is deserved. Forgiveness does not equal reconciliation and certainly doesn’t equal trust. Forgiveness is something that you ultimately do for yourself because maintaining unforgiveness negatively effects your physical and mental health as well as your current relationships.

Do you maintain toxic relationships? Although we can’t completely avoid toxic people, we can end some toxic relationships and limit our exposure to others. So how do you end a toxic relationship?

1. Starve it. You starve the relationship by refusing to give it anymore attention. You stop taking the calls. Stop responding to text messages and stop being available for lunch. This may seem like you’re avoiding a conflict, but a toxic relationship is conflict. When you end the relationship, by whatever means you choose, you are not avoiding conflict, you’re ending it.

2. Have the talk. Tell him how you feel about the relationship. For example, you could say something like this,

“Whenever we talk, you make unkind comments about my children. I don’t like that. You always seem to be against me. I feel that our relationship is damaging my mental health. Although we will still work together at ABC Corporation, I need to end our relationship that existed outside of work. “

If you have to maintain some minimal relationship with the person, and you think the person will accept what you have to say calmly, this route might work.

3. Cut it off abruptly and completely. Back in the day, you had to change your phone number to avoid receiving calls from certain people. Now, you can just block people so that they cannot call, text you or connect with you on social media. This is a good method for a relatively new relationship. You’ve invested a few weeks, and you know that the relationship is unhealthy. You don’t really owe the person an explanation. Just get out and protect yourself.

You can let go of old hurts and unforgiveness right now. End or limit toxic relationships. Clearing emotional clutter gives you space for joy, peace and beautiful new relationships.