There are unique challenges to carving out a career in social media while being a single mom. Those are two incredibly different roles with often conflicting responsibilities. I learned along the way that the trick is to never lose sight of what matters, and not get sucked in by what doesn’t. That can be a whole lot easier said than done, but being a mother has always helped me keep things in perspective.

You don’t have to read my book (although I’d be grateful…) to know that the woman I portray on Instagram isn’t the real me. Or, more to the point, that woman is not all I am. Don’t get me wrong, Instagram Jessica has earned me a good living and given me the opportunity to project power, control, and confidence even when I don’t see those things in the mirror. She has often inspired me into action when I would so much rather sprawl on my couch till noon, lounging in my pajamas and working on a junk-food buzz.

The truth though? Being a mother is a hundred times more fulfilling and fun. My work means I wear a lot of hats, but the label that means the most to me is “Isabella’s mom.” It didn’t start out like that.

As I wrote in Going Wilde, I struggled mightily with postpartum depression. The worst part of that horrible darkness was my inability to connect with my newborn. I can’t describe how wonderful it was when—with therapy and the right medications—the clouds parted and I began to see Izzy as she really was. My absolute everything.

When Izzy was a baby, she was a cuddle bug and I could not get enough of the snuggles and kisses. But more fascinating to me was watching her learn and grow into a fantastic young woman full of compassion and her own ideas about the world. She’s interesting, empathetic, thoughtful, and my best friend. My part in her journey includes keeping a buffer between Izzy and my work. That doesn’t mean keeping her in the dark or lying to her.

She knows I’m a model and that I use my image for financial gain. We openly discuss how important it is to maintain a positive and realistic body image. Izzy can see that the Jessica Wilde I portray on Instagram doesn’t look like the mom I am at home. Izzy knows online Jessica is photoshopped and, to a point, fabricated. None of that holds any magic for her.

I give Izzy something I never had growing up—a foundation of love and support on which she can build, and the security to fearlessly venture out in discovery and find her best self. I’m not worried about what that looks like. I’m not stressing over what she might choose to do in life or who she winds up picking for a significant other. Like most of the mothers I know, all I want for my daughter is that she be happy and fulfilled. If that happens, I’ll be happy and fulfilled, too. Take that Instagram Jessica!