Old Man Jeff is this old guy I talk to who hates money. I caught him the other day, burning a five dollar bill.

“Don’t burn that!” I said, snatching the bill from him and immediately placing it in my pocket. “You burning any more of these?”

“Gimme that back,” he said.

“No.”

The old man, who was normally gentle and a little timid, rushed towards me and grabbed my shoulder. “Give it back to me you little shit!”

“Fine.” I’d barely pulled out the five dollars from my pocket when he sn...