The Responsibility of Fantasy in Intimate Relationships
Fantasy is not only found in books today—it's taken up residence in pretty much every aspect of our lives. Beyond film, television, and books, it exists in video games, sports, subcultures, and even in the bedroom. In some circles—depending on your perspective—you could say that vanilla sex is no longer vanilla, and taboo sex is no longer taboo. The world has changed, breaking apart our preconceived notions about what a healthy sex life should look like.
No matter what corner it creeps into, fantasy is not a bad thing when it's just that—fantasy. When we recognize it as such, it stays in that magical space we need it to occupy. It provides us with an alternative to the everyday, giving us healthy tools to cope with all the mundane and oftentimes painful experiences we go through.
But, as I think more on this, it's not always this cut and dry. Let's take the interesting world of BDSM; or bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadochism, and masochism.
Wow, that's a mouthful. (But only if you don't swallow.)
On one side of this world, you have the people are BDSM-curious, then you have the others who embody the full lifestyle. For the curious, this embodies everything we know is true about fantasy. It allows couples (meaning two sexual partners, not always romantically committed with each other) to experiment with something that feels dangerous, exciting, and a little bit naughty. This gives these partners a healthy way to explore their fantasies.
With the people embodying this as a lifestyle, it's also a healthy part of their lives. For those interested in submission, it allows them to explore their ability to control their own sexuality by putting their safety in their dominant's hands (it's complicated). For those interested in dominance, the power they wield over their submissives is only done with absolute consent and trust that's been ingrained into a healthy relationship. And, though there are sexual aspects to the lifestyle, it's rarely about the sex itself.
Both of these aspects of BDSM are two completely different realms of intimacy, and either of them can head into dangerous territory if anyone involved doesn't understand how it works.
In this way, building an element of fantasy into your sex life comes with a huge responsibility, and those who don't understand that run the risk of hurting themselves or their partners.
It's the ultimate form of fantasy, isn't it? It's the place where fantasy can either become a tool of escape or one that creates safe spaces for those who need it.
Maybe it's a lot like our love for the genre. It's about much more than costumes, imaginary worlds, and vivid colors on the surface. But it's up to us to use that responsibility wisely.
No matter what corner it creeps into, fantasy is not a bad thing when it's just that—fantasy. When we recognize it as such, it stays in that magical space we need it to occupy. It provides us with an alternative to the everyday, giving us healthy tools to cope with all the mundane and oftentimes painful experiences we go through.
But, as I think more on this, it's not always this cut and dry. Let's take the interesting world of BDSM; or bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadochism, and masochism.
Wow, that's a mouthful. (But only if you don't swallow.)
On one side of this world, you have the people are BDSM-curious, then you have the others who embody the full lifestyle. For the curious, this embodies everything we know is true about fantasy. It allows couples (meaning two sexual partners, not always romantically committed with each other) to experiment with something that feels dangerous, exciting, and a little bit naughty. This gives these partners a healthy way to explore their fantasies.
With the people embodying this as a lifestyle, it's also a healthy part of their lives. For those interested in submission, it allows them to explore their ability to control their own sexuality by putting their safety in their dominant's hands (it's complicated). For those interested in dominance, the power they wield over their submissives is only done with absolute consent and trust that's been ingrained into a healthy relationship. And, though there are sexual aspects to the lifestyle, it's rarely about the sex itself.
Both of these aspects of BDSM are two completely different realms of intimacy, and either of them can head into dangerous territory if anyone involved doesn't understand how it works.
In this way, building an element of fantasy into your sex life comes with a huge responsibility, and those who don't understand that run the risk of hurting themselves or their partners.
It's the ultimate form of fantasy, isn't it? It's the place where fantasy can either become a tool of escape or one that creates safe spaces for those who need it.
Maybe it's a lot like our love for the genre. It's about much more than costumes, imaginary worlds, and vivid colors on the surface. But it's up to us to use that responsibility wisely.
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