I love the song "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion.

There I said it.

These days I can say it without blushing, or giving an embarrassed smile. But before I started writing romance full time, I couldn't.

I was deeply uncomfortable admitting that I loved songs like this, watching romantic movies in front of my husband, or being caught watching my favorite scenes on YouTube.

Having come of age creatively among starving actors and film makers, I was privileged to take part in rousing conversations about story, and art, about what made a good story, a good movie. We debated directing styles, and special effects techniques. We argued about actors and their greatest roles. I loved every second of it.

And while it undoubtedly made me a better author to have these kinds of in depth, thoughtful conversations about the art of story telling, my peers also sent a message (intended or not) that romantic movies and narratives were less than.

So I started to hide my love of this genre. I had no idea just how deep this embarrassment ran until I started writing the novella Sinful Devotion. Then all of this started to come up. All the ways in which I'd told myself that I couldn't write this or that because that was romance and no one would take me seriously.

It was, honestly, shocking. And if I was going to be a paranormal romance author, I needed to start unpacking this shit, Pronto.

So I did. I confront the why's of my shame. I decided to lean into my discomfort by watching romance in front of my husband. I had always assumed he would give me a hard time or look down a little on these movies. Not only did he not do any of those things, he joined me, asked me what I liked about them. He was genuinely interested in my love of these stories. Talking with him helped me see all the tropes and fantasies I wanted to explore because, for the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to take a good hard look at my love for romance.

After that, I was revisiting old favorites, devouring romance novels and finding old love songs I'd pushed away in an attempt to hide my love of the 'cheesy'. It uncorked a bottle inside of me, and I found myself humming with excitement to explore all of this in my writing.

Now, I unabashedly talk to my husband and friends about the steamy romance I'm reading (I think they drew the line at Morning Glory Milking Farm, too bad, their loss!), and I cue up those 'cheesy' love songs whenever the hell I want to. If I find something a bit uncomfortable with I examine why, and if it's because I'm trying to hide it, I go for it any way. Because I'm done hiding my love for romance. I'm done hiding this part of who I am and making apologies for a genre that is deep and important, the brings myself and millions of other people so much enjoyment and fulfillment.