It’s been twelve years since Rob Christopher over at Chicagoist first decided “The Room” would be the next Rocky Horror Picture show and I’m still not seeing it.

The rabid Rockheads heave a sigh of relief: the object of their worship has not been unseated. The rabid Roomheads, however, reply: “You just wait; Room hasn’t been around for 46 years like Rocky has.” 

Okay, I’ll wait. 

In the meantime, let’s compare and contrast. Rockheads call their movie a masterpiece. But is it? Take away the toast, the rice, and Tim Curry what are you left with? The plot at best is murky, at worst silly. The production values are poor. Except for Tim Curry, you could be describing The Room, so maybe…

Except there is one big difference: Rocky Horror has musical numbers. Musical numbers add a lot of cachet to a film. It can lead to people lip-syncing the entire film in the aisles for chrissake. In costume. 

Shadowcasting of Rocky Horror has a long history. That’s probably because the film is ultimately shadowcastable thanks to the musical numbers. Who doesn’t want to strut in fishnets to a finger-popping tune? Drag queens picked up the beat Downtown and it’s been spreading across the world ever since. And not just at midnight on Halloween anymore. The alternate Rocky Horror is performed all over, all the time. 

A quick review of the ‘net revealed one shadowcast performance of The Room somewhere in Florida. Why is that? I’ll tell you why: nobody wants to shadowcast a film with only a “You’re tearing me apart. Oh, hi Mark.” going for it. Rocky Horror has musical numbers. End of story.

Roomheads will tell you to just wait until 2050 when The Room will be just as popular. There will be just as much licensed junk out there. Just as many midnight showings with lip-synching, finger-popping drag queens. 

Maybe. If that happens, I’m sure Tim Curry will be rolling over in his grave. Probably me too.

— Sue Lange