Lately I've been pondering THE BIG STUFF.

Life. Differential Equations. Death. Dangling Participles. Why so many things on this list begin with the letter "D".

And of course, why this thing pops up every year, touted as the ideal Christmas present:

[image error]That's right… the bestest gift ever for the people on your list is Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!!!

There are people in my life that I have a hard time shopping for. I'm not going to deny it. But still, who in their right minds would be so perplexed about what to buy a loved one for Christmas that they would give up in defeat and plunk down money for one of these things?

What does one do with Chia seeds, exactly? I know that they can be an excellent source of Omega-3 fatty acids, but is the stuff that you can grow in one of these rinky-dink ceramic animal/cartoon character heads high enough quality to ingest? And if not, why would you bother?

I don't know about you, but if I'm going to convert any of my precious kitchen counter space to a farming area, I'd at least like to plant something I could use. Spices maybe. Or something pretty, like flowers.

Not a plant that looks like green pubic hair.

So yeah… finding that perfect Christmas gift can be a big pain in the A$$. But if you're going to give up and coat yourself in abject *FAIL*, at least do everyone on your list the favor of going the more traditional socks or underwear route.

Because the last thing this world needs are ceramic Scooby-Doo heads sporting green afros made of pubes.

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