The Tiny Little Decisions of Life
If you've got someone special in your life, you probably have that "story" about how the two of you met.
It might have been as strangers, crossing paths in a bar, or at that house party thrown by a friend of a friend. You may have bumped into them at a concert, swiped right in the dead of night, or met them at a work conference in a far away land.
But we all have those stories.
I'd been obsessed with the mechanics of how we meet the people, and loved to obsessively break down the tiny moments and insignificant decisions we all make that cause us to bump into these über important loves of our lives.
It's something you can't think about in the heat of the moment, though. For example, you can't stress over turning left or right at the stop light for fear that one direction may cause you to meet your soulmate. You can't worry about ordering Pizza versus Chinese tonight via Uber Eats because one choice might bring that significant other to your front door versus the other.
But when you look back, it's stunning how many tiny decisions had to happen for the two of you to meet up.
My wife, for example.
I was living in Los Angeles, working in the Entertainment Industry and living with friends from college. We frequented this bar near UCLA in Westwood every weekend, and on one particular evening two young women that I had never met, approached me. Mind you, these are two women I wasn't aware of, I hadn't focused in on, and probably would have never approached.
But they approached me. Their decision #1.
I became friends with these two young ladies, dating one (without anything sticking) and befriending the other (despite not knowing she perhaps had a crush on me), but over time I would simply become platonic friends with the two of them and we would hang out and integrate their social group with ours.
Three or four times, they had invited a young woman to our get togethers, parties, and the like. I know I met her, but I don't remember the moments. They passed me by, again and again, without sticking.
Until one day, a moment finally stuck.
A friend of a friend decided to have his birthday party at a famous sushi place up on Sunset Boulevard. A part of this ridiculous party was that you had to dress up in 70's attire, which meant I was going to look like Jack Tripper from Three's Company with blue and white checkered pants, a belt made out of a seat buckle, and some kind of alligator shoes I found on Melrose Boulevard.
One of my friends (remember, one of the girls from the bar) decided to come after a party she was going to go to got cancelled (another decision out of my control) so she decided to come. But she didn't know many people there except for me, so decided to ask a friend to come. That young lady I mentioned previously, who I had met a few times, but never remembered.
Well, my friend called her up and asked her if she wanted to come out to this party. She wasn't interested, was settled for the night, and so declined. If you hear her tell the story she recounts how she hung up, thought about it, then realized she might as well go out and do SOMETHING instead of sitting around.
So she decided to go. (Their decision #32b).
She (her) came to the party. Met me in all my glorious 70's goodness, and it became the actual first moment that we both saw each other...in a real way...for the first time. It would be the moment that would spark the relationship that would turn into weeks, months, years and ultimately a wedding.
But think about all the tiny decisions that other people made in order for that official meeting on Sunset Boulevard to become a reality.
It can make your head spin if you think too hard.
But it can also be quite astounding.
We go through life thinking about fate, destiny, energy, visualization, hope, faith and the infinite Universe as things that can have a bearing on our lives and the paths we choose...but ultimately, if it wasn't for all the people around us making their own choices, much of our successes, loves and happiness may not have happened at all.
And that's the concept and hook behind The Small Stuff.
It might have been as strangers, crossing paths in a bar, or at that house party thrown by a friend of a friend. You may have bumped into them at a concert, swiped right in the dead of night, or met them at a work conference in a far away land.
But we all have those stories.
I'd been obsessed with the mechanics of how we meet the people, and loved to obsessively break down the tiny moments and insignificant decisions we all make that cause us to bump into these über important loves of our lives.
It's something you can't think about in the heat of the moment, though. For example, you can't stress over turning left or right at the stop light for fear that one direction may cause you to meet your soulmate. You can't worry about ordering Pizza versus Chinese tonight via Uber Eats because one choice might bring that significant other to your front door versus the other.
But when you look back, it's stunning how many tiny decisions had to happen for the two of you to meet up.
My wife, for example.
I was living in Los Angeles, working in the Entertainment Industry and living with friends from college. We frequented this bar near UCLA in Westwood every weekend, and on one particular evening two young women that I had never met, approached me. Mind you, these are two women I wasn't aware of, I hadn't focused in on, and probably would have never approached.
But they approached me. Their decision #1.
I became friends with these two young ladies, dating one (without anything sticking) and befriending the other (despite not knowing she perhaps had a crush on me), but over time I would simply become platonic friends with the two of them and we would hang out and integrate their social group with ours.
Three or four times, they had invited a young woman to our get togethers, parties, and the like. I know I met her, but I don't remember the moments. They passed me by, again and again, without sticking.
Until one day, a moment finally stuck.
A friend of a friend decided to have his birthday party at a famous sushi place up on Sunset Boulevard. A part of this ridiculous party was that you had to dress up in 70's attire, which meant I was going to look like Jack Tripper from Three's Company with blue and white checkered pants, a belt made out of a seat buckle, and some kind of alligator shoes I found on Melrose Boulevard.
One of my friends (remember, one of the girls from the bar) decided to come after a party she was going to go to got cancelled (another decision out of my control) so she decided to come. But she didn't know many people there except for me, so decided to ask a friend to come. That young lady I mentioned previously, who I had met a few times, but never remembered.
Well, my friend called her up and asked her if she wanted to come out to this party. She wasn't interested, was settled for the night, and so declined. If you hear her tell the story she recounts how she hung up, thought about it, then realized she might as well go out and do SOMETHING instead of sitting around.
So she decided to go. (Their decision #32b).
She (her) came to the party. Met me in all my glorious 70's goodness, and it became the actual first moment that we both saw each other...in a real way...for the first time. It would be the moment that would spark the relationship that would turn into weeks, months, years and ultimately a wedding.
But think about all the tiny decisions that other people made in order for that official meeting on Sunset Boulevard to become a reality.
It can make your head spin if you think too hard.
But it can also be quite astounding.
We go through life thinking about fate, destiny, energy, visualization, hope, faith and the infinite Universe as things that can have a bearing on our lives and the paths we choose...but ultimately, if it wasn't for all the people around us making their own choices, much of our successes, loves and happiness may not have happened at all.
And that's the concept and hook behind The Small Stuff.
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