Before we get to build your map of reality, there are a few more points we should discuss. Think about this sentence: 

“The apple is red”. 

What is subjective and what is objective about this sentence? If the apple is indeed red, is the word “red” an objective word or not? 

It is NOT an objective word, because the only word in this sentence that fits reality is the word “apple”. Only the apple exists. “Red” is an interpretation of the apple’s characteristics. When you see red, a color blind person might see a whole different color. 

“The rose is beautiful” presents the same inherent problem. The rose exists, there is no question about it. If it is beautiful or not, that is up to the observer, not the observed. “You are lazy”, “I am horrible in math”, “This is stupid”, and so on – all are sentences that reflect the subjective evaluation, not a fact. 

Confusing evaluations of reality with the mental interpretations and descriptions and distortions of it, is common. It leads to conflicts, in the better case, and to mental health issues in the extremes. 

The way we use the structure of our language leads us to think that the map in our head accurately defines the territory out there. 

You may feel that the way you think is correct, but how often do you find out that you were wrong about your assumptions? 

If you want to know how powerful the language you use can be, next time you’re out at a restaurant with friends, describe to them in details how the hamburger they’re eating got to their plate from the cow’s behinds. See how fast they lose their appetite, not because they saw the butcher’s work up close, but because they heard your words and made up a whole interpretation in their minds which lead to certain feelings float. 

Another point to remember: the world changes much faster than words do. Our mental maps are expiring as soon as an event they describe is finished in real time. Even then, we use some of these maps for the rest of our lives. Your brother might have played a trick on you in early childhood, pretending to throw a snake on your neck. Since then, you’re afraid of snakes and also get extremely anxious when something is touching your neck… if you’re unaware of this limiting mental map, you could spend your whole life looking behind your shoulders for potential threat and reacting negatively when anyone even gently touches your neck. 

Your brain is not a supercomputer. In fact, it is not a computer at all. It evolves and changes with time. But it is also extremely limited in processing capability. Too much stimulation leads your brain to fatigue and the preference is for running old known patterns of thoughts and behaviors. 

You go through a rough day and you resort to eating a whole box of cookies in front of the TV instead of going to the gym like you originally thought you should. Some people have it wired the opposite way: they go to the gym instead of staying home, because that’s the default program in their unconscious mind. 

The language we use to orient ourselves in the territory is often the precursor to the self fulfilling prophecies we encounter in life. “I am a procrastinator” or “Lisa is a liar” are not the most efficient beliefs to hold. Yet, if you’re unaware of them and they determine the content of your mental map, how would you automatically behave when confronted with new tasks or meeting Lisa?

Most of the psychological challenges you’re facing are easily solved by exposing the real content of your mental maps of reality and altering the pieces of their puzzles. We will expose these dysfunctional elements and deal with them directly later on. In the meantime, let’s design your future.