BY DANIEL SNYDER

[Exclusive to the In Sight blog]

I am writing this open letter to the fans of The Washington Redskins, recently known by the shameful moniker of the Washington Football Team, to announce the new name of the storied pro football franchise: The Groundhogs.

Some of you probably guessed that I chose to announce the new team name on Feb. 2, Groundhog Day, because of my decision to select the name Groundhogs. My only regret is that Bill Murray could not be here today because of some unspecified previous commitment.

Marmota Monax is a proud animal. Yet it is also a resourceful and thrifty beast, and one highly deserving of being honored in this manner. The new team name also pays tribute to the Hogs, the Redskins offensive linemen of the 1980s and 1990s who starred back when the team had a hope of winning on any given Sunday, not to mention a chance of filling more than half the seats.

I did consider some of the suggestions made by the public. “Admirals” was appealing, but very large and unhappy representatives of the Army, Air Force and Marines paid me visits and cracked their very large knuckles and made it clear that singling out the Navy in this way would not make them happy. “Commodores” seemed too long and awkward; I can just imagine headline writers referring to the team as the “Dores” or, worse, as the “Commies”. My personal favorite was The Washington Scandals, for obvious reasons. But, in the end, the case for Groundhogs was simply overwhelming.

This team name change is not just about making a fortune on new team merch, though I salivate at that thought. No, this is also about the future. I have a second big surprise. A new football stadium for The Groundhogs is well under way. It will be the most high-tech, fan-friendly sports arena in the world. What you all thought was the new Amazon corporate headquarters in Arlington, Va., is in reality the new Groundhog Field. The groundhog’s ability to predict the future is well established in American folklore. Well, I can predict that all of you fans will be thrilled by the innovations that this stadium will provide.

The playing field will be equipped with dozens of trap doors and tunnels through which Washington Groundhogs running backs can dive and elude tacklers, reemerging 20 or 30 yards downfield for easy first downs. In addition, these holes will open unexpectedly under the visiting team’s defenders, causing them to disappear, or at a minimum, fracture an ankle or leg.

I know that some of you suspect that my choice of Groundhogs is some sort of juvenile attempt to get revenge against the NFL (the No Fun League) and the liberal activists who hounded me to change a revered name I swore I would never change. Well, you are correct. Take that!

Just one more thing: Remember that, if the Groundhog sees his shadow on Feb. 2, it means six more weeks of idiotic Super Bowl ads.