Do men even read online dating profiles? Mine says I'm a "sober divorced writer." Inevitably, guys message me: "What do you do? Ever been married? Wanna go for a drink?" Um, hello? I'm flattered I apparently get picked on looks alone, but even men who aren't into hookups do this.

There's a case to be made for a guy being a rushed or generally careless reader and sliding right past "sober divorced writer." However, men are likely to blow past an even more standout description, such ...