So ten years ago, when my husband and I first started seeing each other (again, because we dated when we were kids awww, so sweet ), my dad passed away and we travelled to our home town for the funeral. While there, we went for breakfast with my cousin and my mom. I had a normal eggs and toast kind of breakfast and he had eggs benedict or something like that (whatever it was, it didn’t come with toast).

If it doesn’t come with toast, and you want toast, order some effing toast! Don’t ruin the toast to egg ratio for someone else.

Now, I like to eat my breakfast in a certain order. I eat the egg white part first, then dip one full slice of toast into the yolks, and then eat the remaining pieces of egg on top of the remaining slice of toast. Maybe it’s a little strange, but it’s how I do it. And that’s how I was doing it that day, until my wonderful boyfriend (at the time) reached over and took (!!!!!) a slice of MY toast. He completely ruined the egg to toast ratio I’d carefully arranged and planned for.

When I say it’s a good thing looks don’t kill, it’s a damn good thing.

My mom and my cousin were both shocked he’d had the audicity to do that, and that I hadn’t stabbed him right there with my fork and left his body for the busboy to dispose of. They knew better than to touch my food, but clearly he didn’t and they were prepared for the fallout.

I imagine being stabbed with a forked would be pretty painful. My husband should consider himself lucky that he didn’t find out first hand that day.

We still talk about this toast incident. He’s warned our children to never steal mom’s toast. And when he orders something that doesn’t come with toast, he gets an extra order on the side, for himself. And it’s not that I won’t share food, it’s that he threw off the ratio and made it so I couldn’t eat the rest of my meal the way I wanted to.

Obviously I forgave him, we’re married now after all, but a lot of it had to do with him just ordering himself toast when he wants it

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