I don’t dislike cruises. I just have a difficult time dealing with other homo sapiens. I’m most at home in the forests or marshes, where I pay careful attention to the local inhabitants and their habits.

Since my wife and kids do enjoy cruises, I stick to my wildlife schedule and enjoy the ship when others aren’t there. I wake up early to catch the sunrise each day and typically have the boat to myself. Then, just as I do at any park, when enough people surface I slip back to the bowels of the ship.

There, I work out new plots to books and read until sunset. At that time people are still about, but I look funny so they keep their distance. I then take my wife to some shows where people do things I can’t, then repeat the process the next day. If that’s a port day, then I rent a taxi to see the island by ourselves without the pressure.

Seven days later, we’re back on land. If I’ve been good enough, I’m allowed to visit some wetlands for a few hours where I can photograph the alligators and many birds that don’t like the Northwest.