Today, I’m going to address a common fallacy in our vocabulary. The term “as a crow flies” is entirely false. While it’s meant as a straight line between any two points, no crow is going to fly this way.

First, you’re assuming the crow doesn’t receive a call that he needs to pick up some fresh carrion for the young ones, and that the nearest grocery store isn’t two miles in the opposite direction. You’re also assuming the crow’s GPS doesn’t take him down Sycamore St, when a more direct way would have been down Main, then a right at Ridge. Of course, there’s construction on Sycamore, so the crow winds up taking an even longer detour.

You’re also not taking into account the park that’s just off the way, where the crow decides to stop for a chat with other crows along with a healthy game of Scrabble. Therefore, as you can see, no crow flies in a straight line. There are just too many distractions.