Me and the great I AM have a secret code that we have worked out. It's used when S/He/It wants me to stop the bitching that I tend to call "prayer" and listen for a change.

It works like this. If I hear, see, or come across something 3 times, that is the Alpha/Omega's sign for me to shut up and pay attention. It is synchronicity on steroids, used in place of a cosmic 2x4.

Has it ever happened to you? You see the same numbers every time you look at a clock and wonder why? You hear the same quote or song on the radio again and again and it speaks perfectly to a situation you are going through? Or three different people tell you about a great new hemorrhoid medication and you just happen to have hemorhoids? How did they know!

That's the Almighty at work right there.

So the Prime Mover & Shaker has really been at it this week, bombarding me above and beyond the requisite 3 occurences, which is tells me I am particularly dense in this case and I am just not getting it.

So a little back story...

In recent days I have experienced a resurfacing of some emotions. Things I have purposefully buried in an attempt to "Stay Positive" and "Put on a Happy Face!" On the surface is a calm serene demeanor mixed with my particular brand of snarky with a smile attitude. I got this! Life is good! I am on top of the world! And mostly - that's really true.

But underneath, something darker lurks.

I feel heavy. Grief and anger churn in my belly in alternating currents. I am bloated and potent with emotion. I would cry, but I might weep. I would yell, but I may rip someone's eyeballs out instead (and damn it that would feel so good!).

**smile** **laugh** **make a joke** **look pretty**

Well, The Big Mama/Poppa ain't having it.

So the first message came through my daughter, who reminded me about the Vernal Equinox and how the moon was moving into my sun sign Aries.

Then a friend sent me a video clip, a dark and stunning thirty seconds that resonated with those matching feelings in my bones. There was one haunting shot of the moon shining through the shadow of a tree. I have watched that clip a dozen times.

Then I had a conversation with another friend about the characters in Dream Walker and how I came up with their names. I told her I almost named Aislen, Chandra, instead. But Aislen means 'dream' and Chandra means 'moon'. I got a little inkling here... but it wasn't enough.

Then I did a tarot card reading and, you guessed it, pulled The Moon card. That was when I got the message.

The moon is a powerful presence in our lives. It tends to take a back seat to the more obvious glories of the sun, but in terms of its influence I think the moon holds sway.

When I contemplate the sun, I think of dynamic action. The sun has the power to warm the surface of things. When I think of the moon, I think of gravity, magnetism and reflection. The moon moves the tides, turns the lakes, and pulls things up out of the dark so they may be revealed.

And this new moon in Aries is doing that for me. A poisonous concoction of bitterness, resentment and hurt I have been choking down and covering up with denial, the guise of forgiveness, and the actions of trying to be a good person is regurgitating.

The Universe is telling me it is time. "Let the Moon work its medicine," it says. Because playing nice is not being real and faking it is keeping you from really healing. This moon is pulling the murky 'stuff' up from the depths of me so they can be revealed, so I can be honest, so I can get rid of it, so I can heal.

Message received. Loud and clear.

I would just like to say that sometime it would be nice if You, Oh Great ONE would just show up as a burning bush that speaks English... or maybe as Morgan Freeman. It might cut my learning curve in half.

Shannan

We live in the fiction.