Is there anything on television these days besides reality shows? Seriously. I simply cannot believe that this particular genre of television has become so successful! Who watches this crap? It is mindless and voyeuristic and a ravenous parasite to the very essence of intellect!

Dance Moms, for instance. These are some crazy bitches, and they allow their children, their adorable little girls, to be bullied and browbeaten by yet another crazy bitch! Episode after episode! Although, I must say, those little girls can dance!

And how about Toddlers and Tiaras? What would possess any parent to take their children to tanning booths for the sake of winning a lousy crown? And the money they invest in these pageants! It’s crazy! And what about that ‘Honey Boo Boo’ kid and her go-go juice! Insanity!

Then, of course, there are the old standbys, such as Jersey Shore and The Kardashians. Where do they find these people, and who would waste precious hours of their existence watching them bungle their lives? Can you believe that Kourtney is preggers again! And Snooki is knocked-up too! What the heck! Could we be witnessing the birth of the next generation of reality show stars? Heaven help these poor children.

America’s Next Top Model. Who in their right mind would willingly watch Tyra Banks teach a bunch of undernourished children how to strut their stuff? By the eighth season, I could no longer stand the sound of her voice, and was forced to mute my television and try to read a bunch of Botoxed lips. It might have been my lack of skills in the lip-reading department, but I could have sworn that each of the contestants was saying, “Feed me! Oh, would someone please fix me a sandwich!”.

Don’t even get me started on The Bachelor!

So I ask you … who watches this crap?