BY STEVE BATES

Sources have given the In Sight blog a complete list of items that the FBI found in Donald Trump’s safe and elsewhere in his Florida home. This list has not been published elsewhere and is not available in any store:

Passports issued by several foreign countries featuring Trump’s picture but fictitious names. In a coincidence, none of those countries has an extradition treaty with the United States

A VHS tape labeled the “Golden Showers” video, filmed in a Moscow hotel room. Trump is shown peeing on a bed while an attractive woman is heard to exclaim “It’s no big thing.”

An original copy of the Declaration of Independence, framed and marked for auction by Sotheby’s later this year.

The “official” version of the Bill of Rights, hidden from the public for many years for unknown reasons. In its text on the Second Amendment, it includes the words: “Assault rifles and other automatic and semi-automatic weapons are definitely cool.” The document also features the phrase: “Gay marriage, interracial marriage, teaching Critical Race Theory—don’t even think about it.”

More than 15,000 ballots that, for some reason, election officials in Georgia failed to count in November 2020. Trump is chosen on 14,998 of them.

A document outlining a plan to kidnap Mike Pence and have him impersonated by actor Leslie Nielsen. Nielsen was to declare the 2020 presidential election results invalid, announce that Trump was the winner, and then retire to spend more time with his family on a remote South Pacific Island. The plan was abandoned when it was discovered that Nielsen died in 2010.

Printouts of texts from Secret Service agents wagering large amounts of money and drugs on how many Capitol steps Trump would be able to climb on Jan. 6, 2021, before passing out.

Printouts of emails from Hillary Clinton admitting that she killed White House official Vince Foster; orchestrated the attack on the U.S. Embassy in Benghazi, Libya; schemed to assassinate John F. Kennedy; and aided and abetted the abduction of the Lindbergh baby.

The missing tapes from Richard Nixon’s presidential archives.

The Jared Kushner Middle East Peace Plan, which was never adopted because some of the nations involved refused to build “safe houses” for the Trump family.

An original copy of the Johannes Gutenberg Bible.

Johannes Gutenberg.

Plans for a Donald Trump theme park, complete with ridiculously steep admission prices, rides that are programmed to eject Democrats at dangerous heights, and a requirement that attendees contribute to Trump’s reelection campaign before they can exit. A interactive Conspiracy Theory Exhibit would allow participants to invent and publicize their own insane and dangerous ideas.

Dozens of bottles of Viagra, some prescribed to someone named “Ronald Fumph.”

A draft of Trump’s unpublished memoir, “How to Cheat on Taxes and Wives.” Nicely illustrated.

A dossier on Rudy Giuliani, presumably prepared in case Trump needed to destroy Giuliani’s character. The dossier was never used, because Giuliani accomplished that aim quite effectively himself.

Orange hair spray. Lots of it.

Love letters from Russian President Vladimir Putin and North Korean President Kim Jong-un. In a letter Trump wrote but apparently never sent, he threatens to break off his friendship with Kim because the CIA told Trump that Kim was “snuggling” with Chinese President Xi Jinping.

A towel that Hunter Biden allegedly stole from a hotel in Ukraine, presumably to be used for blackmail purposes.

More than a dozen cards from Monopoly games that read “Get Out of Jail Free.”