The evil Hogwarts House and bogey ‘What Harry Potter House personality are you?’ answer to countless online quizzes of yesteryear is generally where all the bad eggs went in the seven Potter books. So how did they get there?

I remember years ago a history teacher talking about John Calvin and the idea of predestination. Essentially, the idea as he saw it was that God decided at birth who would be saved and who would be damned. It didn’t matter whether the person lived a good life from there or – and I think this is the example my teacher used – robbed a bank. They were screwed anyway. I didn’t say anything even though there was something about the explanation and example that jarred with me. I felt that the essence of predestination had been missed, that God knew this person was going to ‘rob the bank’ was surely the issue there. It spoke to an absence of free will and our lives being predetermined, not of any pre-judgement without considering all the evidence.

Just like some scholars conceptualise Judas – saying that he was always going to betray Jesus and therefore was not necessarily punished in the afterlife. Judas had to betray Jesus. Otherwise, there couldn’t be a crucifixion, Jesus couldn’t die for our sins, and couldn’t rise from the dead, greatest story ever told.

As an aside note, there also mightn’t have been two thousand years of antisemitism and counting. Although I’m sure people would have come up with something, people being what they are. But I can see I’ve digressed already and wow is that the time…

So what does this have to do with Slytherin. Now JK Rowling isn’t the flavor of the month she once was and people will often utilise elements of her character, speech, or creations in online debate. I was attracted to a recent tweet where an author I follow did pretty much what I feel my history teacher did.

Sorting hat: You’re with Slytherin.

Child: I don’t want to be.

Hat: Tough titty, you’re evil now.

Child: Awwww…

But again, this isn’t the point of the Sorting Hat. Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and the others are there because the hat can detect their character and places them accordingly. It isn’t trying to strong arm kids into being evil – and kids can be evil all the time thanks to naivety, an under-developed prefrontal cortex, and just being little shits. It isn’t even saying that kids can be evil and then come around to being better, more well-rounded people (here I wonder if some of the horrors I went to school in Ireland with grew up to be pleasant members of society). This is a form of predestination-lite. The Hat knows what you have an affinity for, knows what you’ll probably be like. It isn’t damning Malfoy or Goyle any more than it would put my well-meaning and kind history teacher in jail for not robbing that bank. Slytherin graduates can still become better people. They don’t need to become Conservative politicians, Daily Mail contributors, or … you know.

The Sorting Hat isn’t a “demon”.

JK Rowling isn’t a “nincompoop”. At least not for this.