Alive & Kicking
Wow. I haven’t done this in a while. A really long, loooooooooooong while.
As most of you probably know, I was diagnosed with a recurrence of my breast cancer in early 2019. Scans midway through chemo showed I had a complete pathological response to treatment — no cancer. I was and remain NED (No Evidence of Disease). YAY! Lack of death is always appreciated, LOL. Unless you follow me on twitter, what you probably don’t know is, although chemo kept me alive, it fried my brain. The drugs I was put on to fight cancer the 2nd time were way stronger than what I had the first time through treatment, did a lot more damage to me on a cognitive level. And, just like chemo for my original dx in 2015, that brain fog lingered.
Learning to function on a day-to-day level was my first priority. I still can’t do a lot. Basic things. Essential things. For example, I have to set a timer every time I leave the kitchen when I cook because as soon as I walk out the kitchen door, I forget that I’m cooking. (My short-term memory is effectively non-existent.) I put recipes in acetate sleeves so I can check off ingredients with a dry erase marker as I gather them so I don’t forget I’ve already added salt 2 or 3 times. I have literally hopped into my car and forgotten where I was going and why I needed to be there while driving en route. Long story short, I invested years developing a whole raft of lifehacks to find a way around the parts of my brain that no longer work and what I still can’t do (example, manage my appointments), I rely on hubs.
Learning to write again…That took even longer, but ha, I finally figured that out too.
The file is due on my editor’s desk on the 1st. I don’t have the final for the cover yet, but I signed off on the mockup only yesterday. Formatter is waiting. I’ve kinda figured out how to distribute ARCs? Kinda. Here’s hoping, anyway. In related news, if you want to be part of the review team, give me a yell either in comments or via my email (kari AT karigregg DOT com) and I’ll make sure you get an ARC.
A new story’s coming!
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Leigh Ann wrote: "I don't know you, so don't know how to say I'm impressed with how you are handling the whole "where did my brain go" situation without sounding pretentious, but, regardless, a big thumbs up to you.."Oh, I've had my moments, trust me. First time I forgot where I was driving to...that was friggin scary. For real scary. But I sucked it up and learned from that life lesson. Now, I drive with a post-it telling me where I'm going and why. Ideal? No. But if it makes me more functional, that's the goal.
Workable works. :) I get the scary. Had that same thing happen a few times. Not fun. For me I choose to believe it's stress from life being too damned busy and fast.
Leigh Ann wrote: "Workable works. :) I get the scary. Had that same thing happen a few times. Not fun. For me I choose to believe it's stress from life being too damned busy and fast."
Stress does make it worse, at least for me. Lack of proper sleep. If I don't take care of myself, my brain will make me suffer. LOL
I'm so happy to hear from you. I often think about you and wonder how you're doing. I'm pleased to hear you're writing again!
S.C. wrote: "I'm so happy to hear from you. I often think about you and wonder how you're doing. I'm pleased to hear you're writing again!"Thanks! I did write during the interim. Every month, I'd open a file to see what, if anything, had changed. About year ago, I noticed that the quality had started picking back up, but...I still couldn't make the story go anywhere? After 2015, one of my coping mechanisms was to type the goal of every scene and what that scene was intended to accomplish as a list at the end of every scene so that was constantly in front of my eyes -- it gave me a target to write toward. Helped me focus. Well, even doing that didn't work after 2019. I was just wandering all over the map. It was really lovely stuff this past year, honestly. It...just never went anywhere. If you wanted thousands of words of pretty though empty filler, I was your gal, LOL
A few months ago, that changed. I was finally able to go from point A to point B again. Can't begin to describe how exciting that was. I still had to develop tools to work around the word-dropping, which I still constantly do. Kinda important for an author to find and use the exact right word. Some other work-arounds I had to devise too. But. Writing again became do-able.
I am so happy I get to do this again. So happy. I feel like I finally got that missing part of what makes me me back.
I'll never take this for granted again. I'll tell you that.
I don't know you, so don't know how to say I'm impressed with how you are handling the whole "where did my brain go" situation without sounding pretentious, but, regardless, a big thumbs up to you.