Catsup is a Vegetable
My boyfriend has this thing about veggies. He feels that they are healthy, and that I should eat more of them. Apparently, the scientific community agrees with him.
What do they know?
First of all, I would like to say that raw vegetables make me gassy. This cannot be good for the ozone layer, and I am very environmentally conscientious.
Second, vegetables grow out of dirt that is usually laced with fertilizer. Fertilizer is poop. Who, in their right mind, eats dirt and poop?
Third … I don’t like vegetables.
Actually, that’s not totally true. I am a big fan of deep fried zucchini. I would eat a shoe if it was breaded and deep-fried. I have also been known to enjoy a serving of broccoli in cheese sauce. Yes, I lick the cheese sauce off, and leave the broccoli, but the cheese sauce was in contact with the broccoli at one point, so I believe that it counts as a serving of vegetables. And I am a huge fan of French fries.
Yes, I count the potato as a vegetable. It grows in a garden, so it is a vegetable. A tomato is also a vegetable, so if I have a serving of French fries and dip them in catsup I am, in fact, having a double serving of vegetables.
Apparently ‘those in the know’ consider a potato a botanical vegetable, but not a nutritional vegetable. What the hell? They also claim that a tomato is, in fact, a fruit.
Let’s start with the whole potato thing. A vegetable is a vegetable. It’s not fair to qualify it, just because it isn’t, perhaps, the healthiest food on the planet. What if we classified people that way? What if the only real people were skinny people? What if we chubsters weren’t really people, but some sort of sub-classification of the human race? I suppose it could be argued that if none of us ate French fries (the non-vegetable-vegetable) then none of us would be overweight (the non-people-people). But I don’t like that argument, so never mind.
And as for classifying a tomato as a fruit? If a product of nature cannot be tastefully dipped in chocolate, it is not a fruit. That’s the rule.
Have I successfully defended my argument that French fries and catsup are a double whammy of vegetables? I do believe that I have.
What do they know?
First of all, I would like to say that raw vegetables make me gassy. This cannot be good for the ozone layer, and I am very environmentally conscientious.
Second, vegetables grow out of dirt that is usually laced with fertilizer. Fertilizer is poop. Who, in their right mind, eats dirt and poop?
Third … I don’t like vegetables.
Actually, that’s not totally true. I am a big fan of deep fried zucchini. I would eat a shoe if it was breaded and deep-fried. I have also been known to enjoy a serving of broccoli in cheese sauce. Yes, I lick the cheese sauce off, and leave the broccoli, but the cheese sauce was in contact with the broccoli at one point, so I believe that it counts as a serving of vegetables. And I am a huge fan of French fries.
Yes, I count the potato as a vegetable. It grows in a garden, so it is a vegetable. A tomato is also a vegetable, so if I have a serving of French fries and dip them in catsup I am, in fact, having a double serving of vegetables.
Apparently ‘those in the know’ consider a potato a botanical vegetable, but not a nutritional vegetable. What the hell? They also claim that a tomato is, in fact, a fruit.
Let’s start with the whole potato thing. A vegetable is a vegetable. It’s not fair to qualify it, just because it isn’t, perhaps, the healthiest food on the planet. What if we classified people that way? What if the only real people were skinny people? What if we chubsters weren’t really people, but some sort of sub-classification of the human race? I suppose it could be argued that if none of us ate French fries (the non-vegetable-vegetable) then none of us would be overweight (the non-people-people). But I don’t like that argument, so never mind.
And as for classifying a tomato as a fruit? If a product of nature cannot be tastefully dipped in chocolate, it is not a fruit. That’s the rule.
Have I successfully defended my argument that French fries and catsup are a double whammy of vegetables? I do believe that I have.
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