Adrift


I think I sleep too much. 
More than most, at least. Perhaps, my body and mind justrequire more. Or perhaps, I'm overdoing it—perhaps I'm depressed? 
Or maybe...  maybe Ijust love the experience of sleep. 
Some people like to get up and going. Some people hate theidea of being inactive in one spot for too long. Me, personally—I find thisperiod of 'inactivity' to be very active. 
Dreaming is one of my favorite past times, and when I don'tget the chance to do it during the day, I can always look forward to thatmystical retreat to my covers come night. 
For me, few things compare to that initial trickle ofthought upon opening your eyes in the morning (or afternoon). 
It's that blurred frontier where previous thoughts andvisions stick to my mental landscape like snowflakes; but they are never accommodating,and the ground always seems to be a tad too warm. In time, these snowflakes meltaway, giving strength to the grass and dirt of my waking mind. 
But if I play it just right, I can keep them around—bothflake and ground, persisting, alive for me to think back and think forward. Forme to remember phantoms and real-world. 
Though sometimes, it's difficult to tease the real from theimaginary. I find myself recalling things, only to question if what I rememberever actually happened. The forces of unconscious are always on us; the gravityof our psyche. 
Sometimes my memories are but tears and rips of thedreamscape. I've plucked a piece here, unraveled some of the veil there. Andthough many times, I may try to draw this curtain whole, to separate stage frombackstage, there is always a crack. 
The door is always open. And light has a funny knack forfinding its way in.But who am I to say that remembering fragments of a dream isnot good enough? Why should I be focused on remembering things that 'actually'happened in real-life?
I don't think anybody knows enough to say what is worthy andwhat is not. Are dreams not inextricably tied to the daily processes of ourbrains and our worlds? Are we not constantly awake, regardless of state?
On some levels, I don't think I've ever slept a wink in mylife.
But at times, I could swear I've floated through all of it.
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Published on February 10, 2012 12:43
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