Sippin Light
I think we should focus on finding a way to drink the sun. Ithink this would help with a lot of Vitamin D deficiencies, combat depression,eliminate the need for dangerous tanning beds, and generally improve thequality of life.
Now, before you accuse me of ingesting one too manyhallucinogens, hear me out: The sun sustains us. It is the crux of life. I mean, SunnyDelight is a nice drink, but we really need to get more focused here. Solarpanels are wonderful, eco-friendly, blah, blah, yada, yada. But what reallymatters is drinking the sun.
I want to drink it. I want to taste the elixir, k? Listen,there are people out there with big ol' brains and 200+ IQs, and they'resitting around twiddling their thumbs, writing their fancy theories ofeverything. We don't need that.
What we want (and I think I speak for all the irrational) isto drink the sun. It's a cool conceptin the figurative sense. Now imagine it in the literal sense.
Holy crap. I just evacuated my bowels. Forgive me.
Anywho, back to the topic at hand. Drinking the sun. Ihaven't exactly defined what this means. And I don't intend to. That's up tothe braniacs. What I will do, is trust them. I'll trust that the mentalmonsters can figure a way to capture the quintessential sun—its awesome-estaspects—and make something cool.
Personally, I'd prefer this creation to subsume beverageform. No foods or candy bars. I want a drink. It could be in a slick bottle,and we could use all the marketing gimmicks the beer companies employ—"thiswide mouth can increases drinkability!"
We could call it SunFlare and havelike a fiery design on the bottle. It could come in 16.9 and 22 oz varieties.
Furthermore, if SunFlare catches on, we can get Snoop Doggand Stephen Hawkings to promote it. Imagine that. You've got a singlecommercial. One stoned Snoopy-dee-loop; and one astrogenius. What a dynamicduo!
Six months post-release, we can target alcohol drinkers byreleasing SunFlare Solstice. It'll be like a Twisted Tea or mixed drink type.Girls and guys can enjoy. And when you're hitting the bars with your friends,you can talk about drinking SunFlare Solstice in such fashion:
Friend One: What wedoin tonight?
Friend Two: DrinkinSolstice, bruhhh
Friend One: Sweeeeeet.Let's get flaaamed
I'll be happy to collaborate with brewing companies,chemists and marketing execs on this idea. You can find my contact info on thisblog.
Published on February 06, 2012 12:23
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