Happy 12th day of Christmas! The Magi have arrived in wonder to see ceramic baby Jesus in the middle of the library table in the living room. At sundown, I can pack them away to go back up in the attic with all the other holiday decorations.

This is Epiphany, the Christian feast day that celebrates the revelation of God incarnate as Jesus Christ. It is the long-told story of hope and faith that unfolds today in my own life.

I have seen the wonder of my grandson growing toward his second year in the sheltering embrace of my daughter and son-in-law. He loves reading board books.

I’ve danced with my son at his micro-wedding to a wonderful new daughter-in-law in the upstairs banquet room of a woman-owned distillery. The groom/mom song: We all live in a “Yellow Submarine,” of course. Priceless!

I’ve experienced the faith of working on my first mother-in-law’s death-leaving just three weeks ago, knowing that at 91 she has passed over into the Great Cosmic Love with the waiting souls of her husband and son.

I’m left to process the mountain of papers and photographs left behind in bins in my guestroom, releasing so many feelings held at bay with big glompy crying jags with my second husband, anxiety-producing blowups at others; sudden desires to sleep, sleep, sleep in the overwhelmingness of a new year and new deadlines in my writing.

It’s okay to feel sorrow, anger, weariness. I am making my own pilgrimage toward acceptance — one of those Kubler-Ross stages. “Acceptance also comes in its own time, and I do not berate myself for not having it on demand,” says the little white book For Today. Life is messy. If I think I will ever reach Marie Kondo organization, it’s not going to happen. The stages of grief are not linear.

All I have is today, this moment. I can make it a selfish miserable one or an awe-inspiring holy one of service to others.

I look to the three figures on this one day of simple and striking reality. I seek the wisdom of the Magi, and listen. They followed a star. They sought the Child. Can I do anything else?

Take-away:

Are you looking for a welcoming church home? Try the Episcopal Church.

Epiphany Resources

Are you processing a death? A friend, Laura Lyster-Mensh, is serving as Death Doula in residence for 2023 at Congressional Cemetery in Washington DC. Read more about what end-of-life doulas are, and how “talking openly about death is healthy and important to appreciating life.”