Have you ever noticed that a natural default setting for our minds is “wake up and worry?”

Lately, I have the feeling that I’m building a Jenga tower, cautiously setting one block on top of another, and if I look away, it’s all going to come crashing down. Of course, this is the opposite of how God wants me to live, so why is it my natural default?

To make matters worse, I find myself justifying this knee-jerk reaction by listing out the events that have “made me think this way.”

March was my 5th surgery related to breast cancer. In June, on our first actual family vacation since Covid, we found out Lauren had thyroid cancer. We then watched our energetic daughter spend her summer undergoing cancer surgery and treatment. In September, my father-in-law got diagnosed with prostate cancer. In October, the university health center called me and said they were sending Ashley to the ER, and I drove 12 hours straight to get to her. Last week, my mom was visiting from England and landed in the hospital. She came home, and the following day my husband woke up with the flu.

And, if that list isn’t long enough, and I need further justification, I catch myself cataloging prior years. Then I tell myself the worry is justified….

No!

It’s not.

This is not the way to live.

But here’s the other thing: did you maybe catalog your own events while reading mine? Did your mind go to your own reasons why living in a heightened state of worry feels valid? Do we all keep a list?

Furthermore, we may even compare our lists – theirs is worse than mine, I could never handle that, I need to toughen up since others have it so much worse, etc. etc.

And, if you are like me, you then feel guilty for the worry. Compared to the tragedies parading before us on the news, ours seem minuscule. So, we add comparison and guilt to our worry. And now we have created a trifecta of defeatism…

This morning, as often happens, I woke up with that “wake up and worry” mindset followed by the inevitable “I shouldn’t live like that guilt,” so I opened my Bible to John 6 and read verse 20:

“It is I; be not afraid.”

And God’s Word instantly hit my reset button. Peace washed over me. Because no matter what the next big thing is, no matter what happens next, God is there. Next to me. With me. Giving strength. His Word provides peace and replaces the worry.

I also find it comforting that the disciples were physically with Him and were still afraid. God is showing us their humanity and telling us there is a solution. The disciples needed a reset, too. Jesus told them, “…be not afraid.” Jesus was with them, and He can be with you, too, my friend.

May your today be filled with peace. May our Christmas Lists be filled with thankfulness. May we make time daily to read God’s Word and feel the peace that is there waiting for us.