When you divorce women [...],
let them go honorably.
But do not retain them only to harm them
or to take advantage of them.
Whoever does that surely wrongs his own soul.

The Qur’an - 2:231
(Translated by Dr. Mustafa Khattab)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s interesting how soon divorce is mentioned in the Qur’an. I’m exaggerating (slightly), but it’s basically like, “Worship God, for the day of judgment is coming. Oh, and if you need a divorce in the meantime, here’s how to go about it.”

It’s mentioned before teaching anything about building a healthy relationship, working through challenges, or how to be a good partner. 28 pages into a 500+ page book and this is how we get things started?

We could argue the foundation of Islam was build on the biblical scripture, so let’s examine the first mention of divorce in Deuteronomy.

24:1 begins with a bizarre scenario where if a man takes a wife and finds her indecent and divorces her, and she marries a man who finds her indecent and divorces her, the first man is not allowed to marry her again, because this is detestable in the eyes of the Lord.

Any note on choosing a better spouse in the first place? Nah.

How about, “Try to make it work for the children”? Nay.

“Here’s a few tips and tricks for maintaining a happily ever after”? Nada.

(For perspective, this rule is mentioned around the time it says, “If one of your men is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, he is to go outside the camp and stay there,” so needless to say, there is some weird shit in here.)

At least Jesus was a little firmer in his beliefs, saying, “What God has joined together, let no one separate” (except for sexual immorality). But fast forward to Apostle Paul who goes on to suggest that if you’re single you should never marry, because that advice has the foresight to perpetuate the human race past a single generation 🙄

Back in the Qur’an, there are ten plus verses pertaining to the subject of divorce, and not one before them on how to actually handle a relationship. Then, as quickly as the topic comes, it goes. Talk about a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am.

I’m by no means a religious scholar, but from what I’ve seen so far, I haven’t absorbed much quality marital advice from the Abrahamic traditions. I suppose I’ll stick to the best modern advisor we have: Dr. Phil 🥴