The Master said,
“There are shoots that never come to flower,
and there are flowers that never bear fruit.”


Analects of Confucius - Book 9, Chapter 22
(Translated by Robert Eno)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How does this play out long term?

I wondered this as I observed three girls and a boy playing by a pond under the half-assed supervision of one of their fathers, who was preoccupied with fishing.

Here’s what happened:

Girl A threw seaweed at boy, boy started crying.

Girl A ran away to play with girl B, pretending like she had nothing to do with the tears.

Boy ran to father and, while being half-ass comforted, girl C shared her toy with boy and the tears immediately vanished.

Now, what kind of stories and habits were being reinforced for the long haul here? For example:

Girl A learns that if she runs away from things that might get her in trouble, she can escape responsibility.

Boy learns that if he cries over little things, others will give him stuff to make him feel better.

Girl C learns that if she gives things to people who are upset, they’ll like her.

I fear fatherhood, if it’s ever in the cards, may one day short-circuit my over-analytical brain.

But all I could think was, Will these shoots come to flower? Or will they die off the vine before they bear fruit?

(I guess in this metaphor they’re toxic flowers or poison berries, but I’m stretching here because I find Confucianism the most difficult to write about.)

Anyway, can you think of any patterns like this you may have learned back when your memories are still fuzzy?