As many of you know, my novel 5IVE SPEED has been published as an ebook. You can learn all about it in one easy place. I created a Kindlebooks Profile and there are links to the Amazon page, along with the description of the book, a cute YouTube video I did, and I don’t know what else. Most of you haven’t bought the book yet, and I don’t know why. The ebook price is $2.99 and it’s worth ten times that. Maybe a hundred times that.

I’ll tell you what. Buy the book and if you truly don’t like it; let me know and I’ll refund your money. I’ll do it personally. I’ll send it to you via PayPal from my own personal PayPal account. Okay? That’s how sure I am that you’re going to love the book. And when you love the book, I’d like you to post a review on Amazon and tell all your friends to buy the book as well. So now there’s no risk to you. Satisfied?

I should see the numbers of books sold skyrocket now, right? Or not.

See, that’s the thing. I don’t get it. Everyone that has read the book has loved it. I have posted messages on Twitter and Facebook and Linked In and everything else every marketing article has told me to do. I’ve read dozens of “Top Ten Things You Need To Do To Get Your Ebook Sold” blogs and articles which all say the same thing, by the way, and truthfully (between you and me), the book is just lying there. I don’t get it.

I would love to hear some solutions to this crisis from any of you. As long as it doesn’t involve something I’ve already read a hundred times. If some of you have any connections to newspaper book reviewers or magazine book reviewers or you yourself are a newspaper book reviewer or a magazine book reviewer, then you’ve gotta help me out here!

I know it’s been less than two weeks. Those of you who have followed this blog know that patience is not one of my oh-so-many virtues. As far as I’m concerned the only thing wrong with immediate gratification is that it doesn’t happen quick enough. So, I need results now and if I can’t depend on you…well…you know.

I’ll tell you what I need. I need Oprah to read 5IVE SPEED; love it and mention it. That’s the key to my success. If she can endorse a fake drug addict’s fake autobiography, how hard could it be to get behind one of the funniest books she’ll ever read? It’s gotta be easy for her, right? Not only that, but the story takes place in Chicago, and she’s from Chicago, so it all fits in. She practically owes me, for chrissakes!

With the vast number of people who read this blog, there has got to be a few of you who are close friends with Oprah and can do this favor for me. I will be so appreciative, and you’ll be doing a good thing. In the meantime, I’ll be watching the sales numbers skyrocket from the posting of this edition because all of you are at least going to buy a copy of 5IVE SPEED from the Amazon page.

Oh…and the money back thing still stands. Thanks.

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