Lessons Learned From BadReviews:

Romantic Tension vs.Sexual Tension (yes, there is a difference)

Hi, my name is MistyDawn Pulsipher, and I am a clean romance author.

For some reason I feelthe need to put this out there, wear a hypothetical sign around my neck sopeople know up front what they’re getting. I have always felt with my writingthat it’s important for my characters to stick to the standards that have seenme right throughout my life. So, obviously, no sex before marriage. And evenafter the “I do’s,” I don’t want to read gritty details about their maritalecstasy. Some things are just better left to the imagination, and I don’t needyet another unrealistic standard to try and live up to.

So, for whatever reasonI can make seem the most realistic in today’s literary world, in my books thereis “no ding-ding without the wedding ring” as Maid Marian’s robustlady-in-waiting so eloquently put it in Robin Hood, Men in Tights. Butit didn’t occur to me until a few reviews in on my first novel, Pride’sPrejudice, that I might have been unknowingly leading readers astray. Here isone snippet (okay, it’s a diatribe, let’s call it what it is!) that opened myeyes:

“To think that with all the sexual tension throughout the book, suddenlyvirginity becomes and issue made me check the back in two seconds flat to seeif the author was a religious fanatic. Sure enough, that's exactly it. Here'sthe complaint because it's NOT THAT SHE'S A VIRGIN, it's that the author didn'tcarry that thread throughout the story. She threw it in as a preachy piece. Itfelt weird and changed the whole story to absolutely unbelievable. People thisage have sex and people in this book are having sex. Are we thinking the othercharacters aren't doing it. Oh please, that part made this book maddening and Ididn't like the unbelievability in it. If you want to write a christian P&Pbook, then carry that the throughout the book. Take the time and energy tointroduce a reader to that idea early on so it doesn't feel like a preachy slapin the face.”

At first Icould laugh about that review, pity the reader for having a pornographyaddiction and not realizing it. But as I started penning novel number two, Persuaded,that review gnawed at me. The words chewed on that sensitive nerve that isalways exposed to criticism from readers. Suddenly it was clear to me that thisdisgruntled reader was right in a sense. I had unintentionally built up to asteamy climax that was never going to happen. I stress the word unintentional.

It wasn’t until I waswatching one of my favorite Netflix shows and a simple kiss on the cheek got meall excited that I realized I’d been marketing the wrong thing. In thisparticular show, the focus had been on the relationship development (a workpartnership) of these two characters. Once in a while there was a look from oneor a line from the other, a little hint that each of them might feel somethingmore than friendship for the other. Then the kiss on the cheek happened and Iwas like “Yes! They ARE going in that direction . . . I KNEW IT!” I think Ialmost fell off the couch, and I watched that little cheek brush over and over.My poor streaming device was so befuddled that Netflix finally shut downwithout my permission, and I was forced to finally call it a night.

But I didn’t fall asleepfor quite some time, because the same question was circling relentlessly in mypsyche: how could something as simple as a peck on the cheek get me so workedup?

That’s when I realizedthat the buildup was for the romance, plain and simple: the epiphany of bothcharacters, the first kiss, the declaration. That little smooch had me goingfor several more episodes, perched on the edge of my seat waiting for just alittle more. They didn’t full-on kiss until the end of the season, and longafter they had ‘done the deed’ that little peck on the cheek was still myfavorite moment for those characters.

Right then and there Idecided to change my focus. Perhaps none of you struggle with this, but maybesome of you, like me, never realized that there are different kinds of tension.It is a good idea going into a novel to have a clear idea of which kind youwant to market. Then the judgment calls that might stump you all along the wayaren’t really an issue because the decision’s already been made. You’ll takemore pride in your work, and readers won’t be so misled and disappointed.

I have to mention thatwithout my good friend and author Melissa Lemon, this lesson might still bedancing around the edges of my consciousness. She taught me that Harlequin hasnothing to do with true romance. Check out her books!

http://www.amazon.com/Melissa-Lemon/e...