Moms love practical advice on raising kids, and so they should. But let’s back up a step and talk about the home itself. Little people need to grow up in a place where they will grow fat little souls, and this can only happen in a Christian home.

A Christian home is centered around the Lordship of Jesus Christ. A Christian home is a home where He is loved and served and obeyed. But not all Christian homes are what I would describe as oasis homes. A home that is an oasis is where parents take their job assignments seriously, but they do so with joy. This joy in the Lord spills over so that the kids grow up sloshing around in it. In fact, they grow up so used to it, that they know nothing else. This is an oasis home.

What is an oasis? It is a small green fertile area, usually having a spring or well, in a desert region. It serves as a refuge, a relief, a haven, a harbor, a retreat, a shelter, a pleasant change from the world outside. It provides refreshment and rest.

So we don’t simply want Christian homes where we are teaching the kids to know the catechism, but we want homes that refresh everyone in them. Homes that provide shelter and relief to our families and friends. What’s this look like?

A central characteristic of this kind of home is that there’s a mother in it!  She’s not simply present, she is engaged in her mission. She remembers how the Bible describes her: A fruitful vine in the center of the house (the very soul of the house); and a crown to your husband.

The centerpiece of our homes is the table, and we

She is taking pains to see that her family sits down around the table together every day. That means she’s investing herself in food preparation (planning, shopping, preparing, cleaning up). She feeds them. This sitting down at the table together is the rhythm of the kids’ lives. It is an image of the Lord’s table to them. It is a place of sweet fellowship and happy times and good food. It is not a place for correction and discipline, anger and fussing. This is where the husband eats the fruit of his labor. He goes to work, brings home the pay check, and the wife transforms (glorifies) the pay check into a wonderful meal. There is a direct connection: he works hard, she works hard to feed the family wonderful food.

This kind of mother in the home has her internal clock set to Dad’s return home. Not so she can hand off the kids to him, but rather so she can prepare a homecoming  for him, welcoming him  into the oasis she has prepared. An oasis is rejuvenating, refreshing. When you walk in the door, you can relax, and strengthening and prepares Dad so he can get back to work the next day. She respects her husband; her little kids hear her praising him during the day. They hear her speak respectfully about him and to him. She appreciates him, and she prepares for his return. Kids LOVE it when Mom respects Dad. It gives them all kinds of security.

This is how a wise woman builds her house. She works hard all day, just like her husband does. She’s not idle. She is beautifying and glorifying her oasis, making it a place the kids love to be, where they want to bring their friends. And she thinks of her husband coming home every night, and makes it a sweet homecoming, a welcoming homecoming.

This is not an idealistic picture. If your husband gets home at 5 o’clock, you can start the pick up with the kids at 4:30. “Okay, guys, we need to get things picked up for Daddy!” You can comb your hair and change into something that doesn’t have the day all over it. You can wipe the dirty noses and straighten up the living room. It doesn’t take but a few minutes. Have something in the oven that smells good. Have the kids looking for him, one with the paper, one with a nice cold drink. Have him sit down for a minute while you finish up in the kitchen. You can do this if you decide to do it.

You can’t hope to have fat-souled little happy kids if you and your husband are sniping at each other. You don’t want to greet your husband with a sour face and a list of grievances about your terrible day. You don’t want him to have to be praying for grace on the way home from work. You want him stepping on the accelerator to hurry home, and to breathe a sigh of relief when he gets in the door.

Don’t have the bed covered with loads of unfolded laundry. Even if you have to shove it all back into the dryer to hide it. Make a welcoming space for him. You are teaching your children while you do this. You are praying that you’ll be a blessing and an oasis to him.

And don’t forget to nourish him sexually with new toys like the one on this We-Vibe Melt review. Keep the marriage bed lush and green too. Don’t let it shrivel up and die of neglect. Make your bedroom a retreat, a place that looks inviting. Don’t let it become the dumping ground for loose ends around the house. Don’t let it be the last place that gets cleaned up. It’s your private garden. Keep it watered!

This may sound like a lot to you. Well it is. We have pretty comfortable lives. We moms can take breathers on the computer and the phone. We can find many excuses to put off our duties in our homes. Don’t be idle. Building a home takes a lot of work.

Or it might sound really simple to you. Do you mean just cooking and cleaning will make my kids happy, secure little kids? Not in isolation. But when it is all done as a means to a glorious end, as a way of fulfilling your calling in Christ, He will use these things to do far more than you could have imagined.

Ask God to give you a vision for it; ask God to give you the energy and the enthusiasm it takes. Ask Him to help you do these things when you don’t feel like doing it. It’s very true that when mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.

The post Making Your Home an Oasis appeared first on Femina.