The past couple of years has been hard on me as I’m sure it has been on everyone. But I have started feeling the effects on my mental health. As one of my friends always says, most of you probably didn’t notice my absence. Still I felt, it was important to talk about.

In 2021, I was forced to leave my job due to harassment and bullying in the workplace. That set off a deep depression as I struggled to get my legs back beneath me. I had to decide if I would leave the field that I had strived toward my whole career or stick it out and possibly have to have this cloud hanging over my head my entire life.

Also at the same time, my husband and I found out we could not have children. Our dream to grow our family was cut off at the knees. The depression only grew worse.

Luckily, I was able to find another position within the same field. I landed on my feet. My job now is even better than I could have imagined. And I have been with them now for two years. I am happy with my decision to stick it out and the cloud is starting to clear.

My husband and I weighed all of our options about how to grow our family. We ended up deciding on IVF. And that journey has been difficult. At every turn, we have been met with obstacles – whether that is my response to the medicine, our insurance, or the financial barriers. But I am starting to see the other side. We were able to create 6 embryos.

But as I mentioned this has all happened in the past couple years. And something had to give. It was my writing that suffered.

I noticed it slowly at first. I stopped putting out my newsletter and continuously missed deadlines on my WIPs. I never felt inspired to finish the projects I was working on. Then the other symptoms of depression began to reveal themselves. I was often irriatable- especially when people would as me simple questions. I was tired and would feel like crying for seemingly no reason. I would also alternate between napping all the time to not sleeping at all. It was chaos.

It wasn’t until October 2022 that I sought professional help. I was diagnosed with situational depression linked to the turmoil in my life over the past couple years. I have gotten help, but sometimes it is still hard. I have periods of time where everything feels overwhelming, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I needed this break to reset myself and get my life back together. It was a very difficult couple years for me, but I have hope the future will be better.

If you or someone you know is suffering from similar problems, please don’t hesitate to get help. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. Sometimes the only thing you need is an unbiased ear to listen.