The Tomboy Testimonial: A constant litany of cis women talking about how they were tomboys who cut their hair and watched football and are now happy adult human females who are so very, very thankful that they didn’t have the choice to transition.

These enrage on so many levels – let me count the ways.

First, of course, they make the assumption that being trans is about hobbies, likes and dislikes, interests, favorite color, tendency to climb trees, etc. Bullshit. I have met NO trans person who has ever said that was *fundamental* to their experience. It’s nonsense.

They are motivated to write these in such a way that it mimics some things that trans people actually do talk about – and it makes you wonder if they are being entirely sincere or not – like saying they considered that they might be a boy, which could have been a passing thought.

They also assume that they would have been encouraged to transition by – who knows who! And imply that “these days” they would have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria in a clinical setting and offered medical interventions. Also, generally, bullshit.

But beyond the fact that these testimonials offer myths by throwing out unrealistic hypotheticals. They are also sometimes deeply disturbing, in that they imply that trans men are victims of internalized misogyny – that they are people who hate themselves because society hates women.

The vast majority of these testimonials are women going on about climbing trees and watching sports when they were kids – as if that’s super strange for girls to do or something (give me a break) – and then asserting their womanhood boldly and saying they were always a GIRL! Which has NOTHING to do with being trans, what-so-ever.

But every once in a while, I see something else.

Every once in a while a few things they say – between insipidly talking about toy trucks, haircuts, and playing in the mud – make me consider they might actually be trans. Then, my perspective changes, and I wonder if this is a story about their sense of self being systematically torn down by being told that who they are is wrong.

Maybe this isn’t some silly weird flex by a cis woman about wearing jeans and riding bikes, but that this person’s testimony is about being very grateful that they were saved from sinful ideas and that they are happy now – normal now – cured, and that destroying a part of themselves that wasn’t acceptable, as they were told to do, was successful.

That they “love themselves” now.

This is also, bullshit.

I don’t know what’s worse – being ridiculous about what being trans even MEANS and the sexist nonsense most of these are (Going fishing when you were ten doesn’t make you “boyish” much less a boy – sorry.) or the fucking horrifying conversion therapy vibes that I get from these every once in awhile.

I grew up in the 80’s. I remember the testimonials of ex-gays – about their journey to healing: turning away from self injury, spiritual sickness and unhealthy lifestyles, how happy they are now with their wife and kids.

They also claimed to be grateful for being saved and cured – spared.

Make no mistake – the REASON for these testimonials is to convince trans boys and men that they aren’t boys and men, but self-hating girls and women who are going through a phase, that their feelings are not real or are the result of trauma, that transition is morally wrong, and that the cure to their supposed affliction is learning to “love themselves” – by, you know, denying who they know themselves to be.

That’s the point.

And it’s bullshit.