While celebrating my amazing wife's birthday this week, I was reminded of a not-so-great birthday gift I gave her early on in our relationship. Wait, I didn't give her anything on this birthday! It was just another night where I let my selfishness dictate my actions, and in this case, it resulted in a trip to Kmart to buy myself bowling shoes on her special day. To make matters worse, I also bought a video game and a pair of sunglasses and said, "Feel free to pick anything out." What a jerk! At that moment, I belittled my wife, and my actions said that she wasn't a priority.

Looking back on that moment now, I cringe at my lack of consideration and thoughtfulness. But from this, I learned that selfishness is an obstacle to loving others well and that admitting our mistakes and taking accountability for our actions is key to strengthening our marriages.

In Colossians 3:12-14, it says, "You are the people of God; he loved you and chose you for his own. So then, you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you. And to all these qualities add love, which binds all things together in perfect unity." These words remind us that love is a choice and an action that requires us to clothe ourselves in virtues that support it.

We're often asked how we celebrate our marriage or how to show love and support to our spouses. And the truth is it takes effort, patience, and selflessness to build a strong and lasting relationship. It's about learning from our mistakes, acknowledging our faults and selfishness, and loving daily. For me, it took therapy, prayer, and honest conversations with my wife to understand how my past mistakes were affecting our marriage. It took recognizing my parents' long marriage and how they overcame obstacles and my in-law's example of what authentic faith is and how they mirrored responses and actions to break the cycle of selfishness.

Personal accountability is crucial to breaking the cycle of selfishness in your marriage. Like me, you may find yourself making mistakes and hurting your spouse. The best thing you can do is take responsibility for your actions, admit your faults, and ask for forgiveness. Through therapy, prayer, and hard work, you can build a foundation of trust, communication, and love that will carry you through the tough times.

In an All Pro Dad blog by Mike Landry, he shared creative ways to celebrate with your wife, especially if special days conflict with other commitments. Keeping track of the months, weeks, or days you've been together can be a fun and meaningful way to acknowledge your journey as a couple. But you can also surprise her with a thoughtful note, cook her favorite meal, plan an adventurous outing, or simply spend quality time together without distractions. The key is to show her that you appreciate her and that you're committed to loving her with your whole heart.

Celebrating our marriages is about choosing compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and love. It's about learning from our mistakes, acknowledging our selfishness, and becoming accountable to our decisions. It's about appreciating our spouses and committing to loving them every day. Let us continue to clothe ourselves in virtuous qualities that support love and remember that with God's help, we can build stronger and lasting relationships.

If you are struggling in your marriage, I encourage you to take a step back and reflect on your actions and attitudes. Are you being selfish? Are you putting your spouse's needs first? Are you practicing forgiveness and kindness? These are all important questions to ask yourself if you want to build a lasting relationship that is grounded in love and mutual respect.

Don't forget to listen to our podcast interview on the 8000 Promises Podcast with Adi Tilford, where we share more marriage tips and stories. And let's continue to celebrate our marriages with joy, creativity, and love.

All Pro Dad, '8 Random Things to Celebrate With Your Wife' 8 Random Things to Celebrate With Your Wife - All Pro Dad

8000 Promises Podcast, 'Gerald & Tabby Interview' Saying Yes! to Opening Up about Pornography Addiction and Recovery - 8000 Promises: Saying Yes to God's Promises for your one beautiful and precious life. | Podcast on Spotify