Last night, Matt, my not-husband shook his head and wondered why in the hell Tiger Woods would make a public statement about his private life.
"Why'd he do it?", Matt asked. "It's nobody's damn business who he screwed, so what was he thinking? Man, he should have just risen above this crap and kept his mouth shut." And in typical dude form, he returned to his laptop ready to continue on with whatever he was reading.
I, on the other hand, in typical chick form, was ready to deconstruct.
"I know exactly why. His wife probably said to him, 'Tiger, you son of a bitch. If you think that I'm going to deal with being hounded by the press for the next 6 months, think again buddy. You're going to go out there and fess up to what you did so the whole world will experience my feelings of loss and betrayal right along with me. The whole world can see what a prick you are, and I'll hang here and maybe do Oprah, or Barbara Walters and play victim. I won't even need to say what I think about you, in fact it'll make me look better if I don't. You're going to do penance. So on your knees Tiger, start paying.' That's what she said, and he said okay because guilt's a powerful motivator." Matt wasn't overly impressed with my take, but sensing I was climbing atop the soap box, he backed off.
I love that Ellin Woods has the power that many women don't have, to publicly chastise a partner who strays. The mean, petty part of myself who has experienced betrayal and who wishes that I too could have had the public at large on my side and my partner could have felt that particular pang of icy lonliness that hits you when you've been really let down by something or someone you think you understand completely.
But the larger, more intellectual side of me doesn't approach this situation like another woman scorned. It isn't good, or right that our society must pass moral judgment on a situation we really know nothing about.
But the media (and lets face it, us personally) somehow feel that we are entitled to this. We stand the moral high ground and our opinion sways while it's impossible to know all the sides of the story you need to really understand what happened. And really, we shouldn't know what happened anyhow. It is none of our business.
To feel somehow that Tiger Woods, or John Edwards or who ever, needs forgiveness from us for what they do that isn't illegal and behind closed doors makes us look puritanical and immature.
Tiger doesn't own me an apology. It's not like he's my dad, or god forbid, my not-husband. He doesn't owe me anything, I don't even know the guy, do you?
So you know, this is my blog, and my two cents. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I just wish that instead of printing Tiger Woods' statement, why doesn't the media print a statement from a soldier fighting in Afghanistan, or the average person who is only "mostly" healthy trying to medical (or in my case in Canada, trying to find a doctor to see you!). I mean I realize I'm grappling with generalities here. But really- there are just so many things we should be getting actual apologies for, and sorry Tiger, you doin' the full tilt boogie with a cocktail waitress doesn't make me feel any better or fill any kind of a void.