Some years ago now, I made a private decision. I think we always need to start by discussing transness as private. It has its public component, but that component comes down to one rather simple thing: please don't pretend that I haven't made this private decision. The concept of "good manners" is a very fraught one, but it does contain a drop of uncomplicated virtue, which is the idea that some things aren't your business. Of course, one of the complications of "good manners" is that "good mann...