What’s on YOUR mind as you drive around the city where you live?

I did not grow up in Raleigh; my family moved around quite a bit as I was growing up. Once I was in school, the longest we lived in one state was 4 years. So my memories of those homes and towns I lived in are for slivers of time with a beginning and end. Memories of being a kid only. Or a teenager only. Or a young adult only.

Rob and I moved to Raleigh at the end of 1990. We bought our first house here in January 1991, and have moved from house to house (5 different houses as we upsized a few times as our family grew and then have downsized twice already), but even though we’ve changed addresses and neighborhoods, we have been building memories in Raleigh for 33 years! 

So when I drive around Raleigh, I find that I’m traveling through memories and feeling their corresponding emotions all over again, often with increasing intensity.

When I drive through the intersection of Millbrook and Falls, I think of the first time we visited the IBM credit union on the corner when we moved here in 1991. I remember having Lundies take photos of our children when they were young and wearing matching outfits. There’s the house with the beautiful neighborhood where Nick and Molly took photos before prom. The day last year when we discovered the place with best cinnamon rolls I’ve ever had.

When I drive by Crabtree, I remember the mexican place called SuCasa with a burrito that had a vein of queso in it. It was like striking gold! I think of the “glam up” of the mall that displaced Su Casa and the other independent businesses. I remember mall walking with my friend as we pushed our babies in strollers, Later, fun visits to the train store, the Discovery Channel store and the Disney store and build-a-bear, and also shopping for prom dresses, and training for a race on the greenway with Elizabeth when she moved back to Raleigh a few years out of college.

When I drive near Pullen Park: there’s a picnic with our group from church when we were in our 20’s. We forgot forks and use tortilla chips as our utensils. A few years later, my brother’s graduation party. (I was pregnant then.) So many fun times with our kids as they were growing up. One particularly awful day when my husband was struggling with anxiety. And more recently, a socially distanced Thanksgiving picnic lunch in 2020.

There are so so many memories of specific things that happened in specific places, and as they flash through my mind like a flip book, the corresponding feelings – the joys, the sadness, the victories, the grief flood my heart. I feel the weight of uncertainty and the lightness of celebration. Drive after drive, year after year, I’m layering memories.

A drive around Raleigh is an emotional lasagna.

I wonder:
Does this happen to everyone? Does this happen to anyone? Am I the only one?

Whether it’s weird or common, I am grateful to have lived here this long. Because living here so long means that we have a community of people around us who have known us for a long time. We have the proverbial village – friends who can say, “Is your girl okay?” “How’s our boy doing?” How are YOU doing?” Living a long time in one place equals living a long time with the people of that place.

I know I can’t say I’m FROM Raleigh, but much of my life is definitely “By Raleigh” and “Because of Raleigh.” I love that our kids were born here, grew up here, and still live near here. And I’m looking forward to adding even more layers of memories in the years ahead.

What’s on your mind as you drive around town? I hope you have memories to keep you good company, and good people in your Village.

“He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭23‬:‭3‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Always be joyful.”
‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5‬:‭16‬ ‭NLT‬‬