I hear it often, “Your kids grow up to be a version of you.”.

Well, I’m living it.

My oldest is a sophomore in high school and although I have accepted the fact that arguing and coming up with an alternative explanation to your parents is in fact a survival trait and developmental stepping stone for a young adolescents, it doesn’t make it an easier to deal with.

Even if my kid agrees with what I am saying he still finds a reason to say “Yeah, but..”

I remember his older cousin Alex had an alternative version but classically the same thing – He used to start every sentence out with, “Actually…“

I know where they get it. From Me.

The last two weeks in my clinic has been some of the toughest weeks in my career. It’s been very soul sucking and has got me down. Nothing has really changed, I’m just in a rut – I need a new perspective. Awareness leads to perspective change, but man…I can’t seem to find it.

I just feel that my patients lately have been outdated and have misinformation and that it is my duty to instill the proper and modern version of their mistakes. They are using heat when it should be ice, stretching when they should be contracting, not doing anything and hoping for results…the same thing I’ve seen for over a decade. (see SportsDocDC)

It’s a dragging on me and I caught myself consistently saying to my clients this week, “Yeah, but…”.

Sometimes not even that. Sometimes just I straight up told them they were wrong.

While doing notes on one of these clients and rolling my eyes into the back of my head, recalling a conversation I’ve done a million times, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that one of the whiteboards on my wall had permanently etched, “yeah, but…= exactly, and…”

I must have written it while teaching an intern, or thinking about something that I came up to show my kids one day or some other creative outlet that I needed one time.

Anyway, it hits and it still rings true. Why fight? Agree and then add. There is a better way.

Why start out a conversation with an opposing view? It’s an automatic shutdown and stressor. Nobody hears anything following that opener because we go on defense mode.

Much like a compliment sandwich, there is just a better way to communicate with other human beings.

The world needs more kindness, this is a very simple way to get your point across one not being a jerk about it.