Confessions during NaNoWriMo
Three years ago today, I started writing Seven Rules for Breaking Hearts. My prior attempt at writing romance, a cozy Icelandic story called 63 Degrees North, was on sub to several editors (for those unfamiliar with the process, this means my agent had sent the manuscript to publishers in hopes of securing a book deal). The rejections had just started rolling in. The feedback was that the story was too quiet; too familiar; too low stakes. There wasn’t enough tension and there definitely wasn’t enough sharp, witty banter.
Basically, my sweet little book was maybe a bit too cozy.
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So, that November—National Novel Writing Month—I set out to write something that was exactly the opposite. At the time, it didn’t seem to matter that what I was writing sounded absolutely nothing like me. The industry was asking for something different and I was determined to give them what they wanted.
Had I had a little foresight, I might’ve realized that it’s really hard to feel proud of a book that isn’t representative of you as an author. You worry that it sets the wrong precedent. Readers are going to assume that this is you—your best foot forward, when really, all you could focus on was wedging any foot in the door just to stop it closing.
Perhaps this post is me being a little too transparent. Presumably, authors aren’t supposed to admit that they don’t love their own books. Don’t get me wrong—I don’t hate Seven Rules! I’ve received some absolutely wonderful DMs from readers who have really identified with the story and I couldn’t be happier about that. Whether or not it’s my “style” is irrelevant to whether readers are able to enjoy it.
Sometimes I feel like this industry comes down to striking a balance. Finding your comfort zone between passion and marketability and sticking to it. When I wrote Seven Rules, I maybe hadn’t found that comfort zone just yet. But I’m okay with that! At the end of the day, it did help me achieve my lifelong dream of becoming a published author. And my forthcoming second book, Given Our History, is firmly in my comfort zone.
So, having learned a bit about myself through this whole experience, where do I go from here? Well, at the moment, a whole lot of nowhere—I’m finishing out my last semester of my master’s degree and my thesis has been consuming my every waking thought, so progress on future projects has been slow (but will hopefully speed up come January).
In the meantime, I’ve been teetering back and forth about whether I should edit and eventually self-publish 63 Degrees North, because I know there’s a market for cozy, quiet, low stakes romance, even if that market maybe isn’t big enough for traditional publishing. Given Our History is also available for pre-order wherever books are sold! If you’re interested in a signed copy, pre-order through Oliver & Friends Bookshop. I’m planning to stop by the week of release and sign all the orders before they ship them out (plus I’ll be stuffing envelopes with some pre-order goodies)!
And of course, Seven Rules for Breaking Hearts is available now! Just because it’s not “me” doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy it.
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What was the point of me putting all this into a newsletter? I guess I just wanted to give myself permission to be transparent about my writing journey. Becoming a published author means becoming a public figure, and in some ways, that alone contributes to this feeling that I’m not being true to myself. I don’t want to have to bottle up my feelings toward my own work for the sake of appearances—which is, ironically, one of the core themes of Seven Rules for Breaking Hearts. If you’re drafting this NaNoWriMo, I hope you’re able to draft something that you’re truly passionate about, and worry about the marketability later.
Cheers,
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