Are you someone who takes the initiative? Or are you happy to go with the wind?

Do you only think a lot and not do anything? Do you stop yourself from doing something because it is hard work, or do you think you are not good enough, so why bother? Or, because there are a hundred easy ways to get a little serotonin boost, why should you spend your time and attention on something that might fail? Or are you just lazy?

A majority of us fall into such ruts. Sometimes, it is a short phase. But often, it goes unchecked and continues for a long time. We sometimes even build our identity around it. But we remain unhappy, maybe because, deep down, we know it is wrong. Still, we go on.

Historically, there have been many famous quotes by great people- about talented ruins, the importance of discipline, being the change you wish to bring to the world, and working hard. Today, you only need to look at a handful of promising startup founders to be inspired by their passion and work ethic. Say what you want about tech bros; they get a lot of shit done. All the recent technological advancements are a testament to that. So, how are they doing that?

First, the realisation

I have been working for more than a decade now. I am also in my thirties. Somewhere along the line, I went deep into my comfort zone. My mind became so used to ignoring all stimuli that it started to shy away from all responsibility and struggle. I was coasting along, so my job lost all its sheen; it became a burden.

I realised I lacked agency at work when I was reading the tech news recently (all that OpenAI drama) and finding out about some successful people. It is hard not to look at these driven people and feel guilty about your own wasted potential.

Getting things done can be a habit. Losing it will affect all areas of your life, which was true in my case. I had stopped doing any hard work. Even on the few things I am passionate about. I was reading a cliched genre of books. I had no energy to cook, eat healthy, or care for my body. I was not writing. I was not reading good books. I was not even watching any new shows. Just repeating old favourites in a loop. Only noise.

Of course, you cannot dismiss the effect of the pandemic and the depression(my version of it) from not being socially active. Still, it is mainly because I didn’t give enough of a damn about anything. Like the frog from that proverb, I didn’t realise I was boiling to death slowly.

If a frog is placed in boiling water, it will jump out, but if it is placed in cold water that is slowly heated, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death. — A widespread misconception apparently.

What’s in an environment?

If you become weak-willed to realise you’re dying a slow death, then you need an external nudge. Others were sympathetic when I vented out my depression. They gave some ideas on dealing with it. But no one said — pull yourself together, do something about your unhappiness. Why would they? They don’t have the full context and would not want to hurt me. But I knew they would support me with anything. Still, I didn’t do much.

http://www.paulgraham.com/ecw.html

This is why “show, don’t tell” works. If I had seen others passionate and motivated, maybe that would have poked me. That discomfort could’ve sparked something in me. But there is a danger of feeling further down, thinking you’re worthless, or becoming angry at others for thinking they’re pretentious. That’s why you need to toughen up the inside.

I Am a Lone Warrior

Again with this crap. No, you are not. We are social beings. Solitude is important. But meaningful connections and healthy relationships are what days are filled with.

Surround yourself with people who are passionate and consistently deliver. You can’t not get inspired by greatness. Seeing others in motion may move you. Take that step. Walk that road. Move places. Cultivate Agency.

What content you consume every day matters a lot. We are so easily influenced that we subconsciously imitate what we see — how we write, talk, etc. So, why not the way we live? Even if it’s social media, follow sensible accounts and look at worthy content, not what is designed to go viral or get hooked.

Why can’t we be happy with what we have?

Some of us have gotten into a mode where if we are dissatisfied with anything, we try to deal with the feeling rather than doing something about it. We try to learn to live with it- wanting more and being disappointed.

It’s the work on your desk. Do well with what you already have and more will come in. — Charlie Munger

Being happy with what you have means not envying others. Because envy is a destructive thing. Work with what you have, but don’t dismiss wanting to improve. Change always happens, so why not make it progress?

Where is the Magic?

A lot of us look for motivation. But it is not easy to find. Even if you find it, it is not easy to sustain. We cannot hold onto a fickle thing called motivation. What we need is discipline.

In my case, I knew something had to be done. I needed to start caring about stuff. That meant I needed to push myself to do things even if I didn’t care now. Even if I am unhappy. Even if it is hard to see clearly out of the fog. Even if I have to trick myself into doing it.

We need to embrace the ‘fight’. Lean into the ‘complex’. Simple has a ton of work behind it. It is not just something the hero goes through to defeat the villain. It is the story’s core, an essential ingredient that gives meaning to the joy of everything else.

But Why?

It is essential to ask the why. Why should you work toward mastery if you can get by with mediocrity? Let me flip the question- why not? Also, getting by is almost always bad. Only a master can be confident to deal with anything thrown at them. Otherwise, you live in anxiety.

You can start small. You are at work most of the time, so why just get by doing the bare minimum just because you can? Even if you only want to get a paycheck and move on, you can still care about the product, customers, etc., and try to make life easier for your teammates or colleagues. Ultimately, it makes life better for you.

Everyone talks about a ton of problems at their workplace, but are they solving any? Use the ‘dissatisfaction gene’ to drive you. Don’t learn to live with it. Do what you can to grow.

I am bad.

What if we are not good? No one is an overnight success. There’s always something behind it. Some luck, some talent, and a lot of intelligent work. But what is there is also an okness with vulnerability. Willing to risk it, taking ridicule or failure in stride. Being comfortable with doing badly and improving is better than being okay with not doing anything.

Many people have ideas. Some even steal, copy, or mimic others’ ideas. But it is the execution of it that brings results. Timing, meaningful people and money help, but you must pursue them actively. Only then can you reap what you sow.

My mind goes zoooom… zooom… zzz

We need to control our distractions, those quick, addictive pleasures. Rest and joy should be meaningful, too. Eating sweets or fats, watching useless drama, reading silly stuff — any or all of these could be adding to your bubble. Choose them carefully.

Then, it is about reigning your mind. Don’t talk yourself out of doing it. Take pleasure in small milestones. Learn to draw joy from attention and creation. Demand a little bit more from yourself. Make that a habit.

Of course, simply doing it is not successful. Critical thinking is required- Where you want to put your work, how much you want to suffer (or enjoy), etc. But all that doesn’t matter if you don’t actually do anything.

So, give purpose to your attention. Find something interesting or weird or fun. Give a shit about your code, your work, your family, and your health. Don’t let life lead you to death day by day without creating or achieving anything.

For everything? Always?

Of course, not in all things. Only one or two important things. But from what I notice, such commitment to good work influences all aspects of life. It betters your life overall. Having mastery in a few also helps fulfilment with or without variety.

Is it the journey, or is it the destination?

It is the person. You have to learn to enjoy the process but don’t expect it always to be fun. You should have a goal you work toward that will help you navigate and course correct, but don’t be so focused on the end result. Time is both your enemy and friend. Don’t pass it mindlessly, but don’t expect miracles in moments. Craft your own future. The end result is often a miracle anyway.