Fighting with siblings seems to be universal, affecting nearly everyone. What’s more, most conflict is over the smallest things. 

That’s why everyone with brothers or sisters needs to understand the phenomenon. Knowing where it comes from can help to defuse arguments and keep relationships cordial and non-hostile. 

The Drivers Of Sibling Arguments

Researchers have identified several factors that drive sibling arguments. These vary from the evolutionary to the psychological. 

One reason siblings fight so much is the need for competition. Parental resources are limited, so we learn as children to fight with each other to secure more food and attention for ourselves. 

This approach doesn’t just stop when we are 18, though. Instead, it continues into adulthood in the form of jealousy and resentment, often boiling over into fights. When it’s over money, probate solicitors sometimes need to get involved. 

Another driver of sibling arguments is stress. When people feel frazzled by work or snowed under by a romantic relationship that’s not going so well, it can lead to arguments. 

Differences in personalities can also play a significant role. Not all brothers and sisters are the same. Instead, nature builds significant differences in us, which can lead to clashes and other problems. 

Finally, communication skills can be lacking in some families, making it harder to know where everyone stands. These issues can then lead to problems with communicating with others, leading to misunderstandings and unexpected conflict. 

What To Do If You Are Fighting With Siblings

Fighting with siblings is never a pleasant experience. Deep down, you know that you’re all on the same side. What’s more, a conflict that goes unresolved for too long can be downright destructive to your happiness. 

If you are arguing with a sibling, take a break from the relationship. Step back for a while to give yourself some time to gain a deeper or broader perspective on the situation. While it might seem unpleasant, removing yourself from an argument can prevent you from saying something you might regret. 

You can also try compromising with your siblings. Going halfway on an issue can often reduce tension and help you both get on better with each other. 

Another possible route is to simply talk to your sibling about what’s irking you and find some ways to resolve the situation. The more you listen to their side of the story, the more likely you are to come to an understanding of where the conflict is coming from. 

Most psychologists believe that it’s okay for siblings to maintain healthy boundaries with each other, especially in adult life. You don’t want to be constantly submitting to a sibling who is trying to dominate you. 

You also want to avoid going to parents at the slightest sign of conflict. Getting them to arbitrate can reintroduce the old family dynamics that brought about the argument or tension in the first place. 

Finally, approach the task of fixing things with your siblings with a sense of humour. Laughing about your problems can help you avoid fighting with your brothers or sisters from turning into a full-blown mental health crisis.

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