Are you bullying yourself?

How kind are you?

How kind are you to strangers?

How kind are you to yourself?

Most people tend to be kinder to friends, colleagues, and associates than themselves.

I don’t pretend to have an answer to the reason for this, but it does seem to be difficult to differentiate between selfishness and self-care.

At this time of year, I keep hearing about people feeling down, exhausted, and burned out. This isn’t a new phenomenon. It has happened every year in my memory. It has been recorded throughout history. Some people live in far less comfortable situations than I do (UK). But isn’t the way we treat ourselves akin to bullying? Are you ignoring the small voice that says, ‘I need to rest’?

The expectations we place on ourselves do not always equate to the way we treat other people.  The expectations we place on our own children are not the same as what we expect from other people’s children, even those related to us. Why are we harder on ourselves?

Whether you are performing physical or mental labour, it is around this time of the year, post mid-winter, post-Christmas, when all the parties and joyous activities are done, that many people find themselves taking a dip in energy and feeling unhappy, or miserable, or worse.

There are many things to be grateful for – but thinking this doesn’t always help lift us out of the ‘Blues’. People are leaving the professions that they once loved. People are on a variety of medications. We are told that we are more stressed than previous generations.

When we are exhausted, we experience an energy deficit. There is a temptation to do less, doing less can turn into doing nothing quite quickly. Doing nothing does not re-energise us.

What you need to do is self-care, which can take many forms. You may have heard of the Scandinavian concept of Hygge (rhymes with cougar) – real fires, candles, and snuggly jumpers probably spring to mind, but the idea is about protecting oneself from the outside world.

How to recharge? Recognise the signs of weariness, exhaustion or burnout – preferably before it happens, and then simply TAKE TIME OUT FOR YOURSELF. What sorts of activities give you joy? Do that. Find yourself a new hobby, and do a little every week. You have to bring the joy back into your life. Everyone needs respite and peace sometimes.

There are a couple of English words for what I often do – pottering and pootling. To recharge relax and escape the stresses of work, your new activity must be carried out in a semi-engaged, casual and pleasant way.

I’ve put together an alphabet of hobbies to (maybe) start you off: I tried to make them reasonably inexpensive and accessible (Ice-hockey isn’t available to everyone for example!)

Oh, and you do not have to be any good at your new activity – as long as you ENJOY IT.

Art

Bookbinding

Cooking

Decoupage

Embroidery

Fishing

Gardening

Home Brewing

Interior Design

Journalling

Knitting

Lego

Music (learn an instrument)

Nail Art

Origami

Pen Pals

Quilting

Role Playing Games (TTRPG)

Scrapbooking

Tye-dye

Upholstering

Video games

Writing

Xiangqi (Chinese Chess)

Yoga

Zumba

So, be kind to yourself. Take a moment to think how well you treat yourself day to day. Learn to treat yourself.

By the way, from the above list, there are only 2 activities that I have not tried over my lifetime, maybe you will find your new relaxation passion for 2024!

Take care.

And remember…