When The Mess Comes to Church
People are messy.
I know I’ve said that before, but the idea bears repeating.
I often tell my church that the church is filled with fallen, broken, messed up, sinful human beings. This is true regardless of whether we’re speaking about the global Church or my local congregation down the road. Every iteration of Christ-followers is comprised of nothing but 100% sinful, broken, fallen messed-up people.
And I’m one of them.
To some extent, this idea is being recognized more. Recently in my conversation with Kyle Knarr, he pointed out how trendy it has become for churches to make statements like “It’s ok to not be ok.” or “No perfect people allowed!” However, in many of those same congregations, the moment someone’s mental health, family issues, unresolved trauma, or sinful tendencies appear, the individual in question feels like they have fallen short of the communal image that they are supposed to uphold. Suddenly “it’s ok to not be ok” only applies if your mess isn’t TOO messy for us.
MY FREQUENT REMINDERSSomewhere along the line, I picked up a couple of mantras that I often find myself repeating. I say these to myself often when dealing with the messiness of people. The first is simply this:
God did not call me to minister to perfect Christians
In saying this, I remind myself that there is no such thing as a perfect church and no such thing as perfect Christians. Instead, those I have been called to minister to are included in the above category of fallen, messed up, and broken. Thus, everyone is bringing not only a desire to grow in their faith, but also their misguided beliefs, prior hurts, consequences of their past mistakes, and more.
The second is well-known, but again, bears repeating
Hurt people hurt people
This one is the most difficult for me to accept because it admits these people I worship, study, and break bread with, may at some point hurt me through their actions. Similarly, I may hurt them because of some unresolved hurt in my own life. For years, I did not recognize just how much of an impact my unresolved trauma could have on my leadership as I tried to pastor others. Now, this serves as a reminder that the more I deal with my hurts, the less likely I am to unintentionally harm someone else.
Have extra grace with unfinished people…you’re one of them
This final statement reorients me back whenever I might be letting myself get judgmental about the mess in someone else’s life. This reminds me that I have my mess and my long list of hurts and mistakes. None of us are done being formed into the likeness of Christ…and that includes me.
Navigating the messiness of people is always tough, and sometimes makes me want to throw up my hands in frustration. But these few mantras help reorient me to the type of calling God has given me…not just as a pastor, but also as a Christian. This is why Paul says in Galatians 6:2, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.“