FINDING HOME
Word Count: 130k
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Sub Genre: MC, Biker Fiction
Content Warnings:
Inappropriate Graphic Language
Crude Humor
Graphic Violence
Gun Violence
Abuse
Bullying
Violence Against Women
Sexual Content
Pregnancy
Alcohol and Drug use
Torture
Status: RE-RELEASE 2/1/2024
FINDING HOME: Lucifer’s Saints MC MOTHER CHAPTER SNEAKY PEAKYONE
BELLAMYYou could call me crazy. I would just have to kill you after.
Stop right there. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Let me explain this shit sanely… Sanely, is that a word? Whatever. It is today. I know what you’re thinking. You want me to hurry the fuck up and get to the meat and potatoes of my story time? And to that, I say don’t worry, bish, I’m getting to it, and it’s going to be good.
Okay, okay…. let’s get to the good part.
Waaa wa wa waaaaaa!
Getting to the point of how this is my life. And why I won’t calm my shit until I get the answers I need. Okay, maybe I’ve been touchy lately… loopy and all over the damn place. But excitement, dread, frustration, and wonderment have been my constant moods. And now you’re confused. Hard sigh. Okay, let me explain this nonsense.
Here’s the thing. Mom knows who my father is, obviously. If she didn’t, well… that would be a different conversation. Not a bad one, just… different. Hennyways, since she’s always known who and where he is. She’s kept an eye on him. A little stalkery for my liking, but if she likes it, I love it. We don’t judge in this household.
The problem with her stalkerish behavior is that she’s kept Blaze, my brother, and me in the dark, basically lying to us our entire lives, which is not cool. And boy did Blaze, and I let her have it. This was when Blaze and I discovered she only came clean because she needed my team. Our task is to clean up a two-decade-old fuck up. In one of her check-ins with her secret squirrel’s mother received intel about a douchebag mafia heir and the fuckery he’s been getting up to. That information led her to involve me in this secret squirrel mission.
Since receiving the assignment, my team has been digging into places she would much rather we didn’t. And oh boy, has she hidden a lot, which has had my ass itching after uncovering the truth of what she’s kept from us.
After we uncovered the information about the mafia douche, I recognized why my mother was so touchy about the situation, which had me asking hard questions. Naturally, those questions came with more revelations than she was ready to divulge, which was too bad for the liar, liar pants on fire. Because neither Blaze nor I were going to let her off the hook easily, our relentlessness had her coming clean about our sperm donor and the life he led.
Blaze has become my mother and my self-appointed guardian. He is a protector by nature. So, watching our mother talk about and explain her past nearly sent him over the edge. The emotions that flowed through her were almost crippling for both of us. We always knew things weren’t cut and dry regarding our sperm donor, but to hear the words. To understand what transpired was a little too much to take in logically and without wanting to rip someone’s throat out, which is why Blaze has been walking around like a bull in a China shop. The boy is big mad.
Getting to the nitty gritty of it all. We found out that things weren’t simple between our parents. According to our mother, choices had to be made with no real time to think them through. Unfortunately for Blaze and me, she didn’t want to go into detail about the tidbit of information as to why that was. She claims she understood our father’s choices and why he made them. She says it was a mutual decision to go their separate ways despite him knowing she was pregnant. As she tells it, according to him and his reasoning, his lifestyle was too dangerous for us, so they separated amicably. This meant my mother raised us without him. No cards, no calls, no Christmas, and no birthdays. It was just the family and us against the world. Literally. And when I tell you my brother doesn’t agree with either of their decision-making skills, that is an understatement.
But I get it. I do. That time in her life was tragically painful. She wanted to let it go, forget, and focus on raising Blaze and me. And mostly, she did that. But from hearing her talk about that time with our sperm donor, I suspect our mother still holds a lit candle for the baby abandoner. The way she speaks of him makes it obvious. I’ve always known that, or at least I felt it down to my bones on the rare occasion she would talk about him while we were growing up. It wasn’t much, and she quickly changed the subject. But, even with the limited knowledge of my mother and father’s relationship, I know this to be true. My mother is still in love with him.
I don’t understand and have had a hard time with the claim that his lifestyle was why he was not a part of our lives. I called bullshit on that and said as much. How can his lifestyle be too dangerous for us? As if we weren’t trained to be killers? Like we weren’t raised in the underbelly of society. Make it make sense? You can’t, and that is precisely my point. None of it makes sense, hence the questions that have had my ass itching. Because something ain’t smelling right.
When the thread was pulled, I went to work. Researching Daddy Dearest was enlightening. One, because it’s my job, and two, because I’m nosy as hell, but you already know that, or at least you should think it’s high on the list of my non-stabby personality traits.
I’ll keep it short and sweet. In my research, I found he has or had a wife or an ol’ lady. A term used by bikers for the women they claim. Daddio married when my mom was pregnant with Blaze and me. He stayed married to her for quite some time, only divorcing a few years ago. During their marriage, they had a few spawns. Two sons and a daughter. I could only get so far in my research before having to turn to my brother, who, as you can probably guess, was not an enthusiastic participant. Blaze, meticulous in his research, had to dig deeper than usual to find everything worth finding. When he is on a mission, he is a bloodhound and will find anything and everything, including all the hidden bits. And there were a lot of hidden and manipulated bits. Thanks, Mom. The annoyance at our mother for burying so much information so damn deep was irritating to both of us.
Blaze is a freak of nature, and I’m thankful he’s on my side. I’m pretty good at researching and finding surface-level shit. Blaze is a damn genius with a keyboard and can find even the most obscure information. Being the kind but reluctant brother he is. He indulged my curiosity. Blaze discovered that Daddio’s eldest of the non-bastards is two months older than us. The other two, like Blaze and I, are twins and are two years younger; you get the picture. And what a picture it is. I’m not judging, but damn, man, you couldn’t wrap it up. And what is it about him making twins? That shit better not be genetic because my lady bits are not prepared and shrivel up at the thought of that nonsense.
Our research painted the picture that Daddio was a rolling stone, and our mother missed some pretty critical facts in the story she wove for my brother and me. He has treated the kids he has raised like fucking royalty. They were and are his goddamned everything. He was at every significant event in their lives. To see the truth of who our father is and what he did for them is fury-inducing. Being a glutton for punishment, I wanted to know… No! I needed to see if he ever looked for us, and he never once did. I should hate him. I should say fuck this job. But something in me says I can’t. Knows I can’t.
After our discovery, she had no choice but to tell me everything she held back. I wasn’t having any stones left unturned. I needed to know everything, even the painful bits. And cornering her was the only way to get it out of her. What I found to be very interesting is that Mister, “I don’t want my baby to be raised in this life. You’re too weak to deal with this lifestyle.” Had no issues with raising kids in that same lifestyle. He had no problem claiming and marrying that woman and raising their kids to be a part of his biker family. It didn’t take long for me to conclude that he didn’t want us. At least, that’s how I feel. Logically, I know there is more to it than that. There has to be. As the child in the situation, I still think it’s fucked up. This whole situation is fucking insane. And I know that even though my mother claims she’s told me everything. The lie detector determines that it’s a bold-faced ass lie.
Blaze and my team consider my need for all this research on him and his kids going overboard. But I really am a glutton for punishment. If I receive side eyes and eye rolls from my brother because of the resources I’ve used, so be it. I needed this information because not only is the sperm donor critical to our team’s ability to do this job, but he is also an intricate part. No one can say a damn thing about me being prepared to do my job because this research is just that.
Another thing my brother graciously informed me of while I was being a stalker, as Sin lovingly calls me. Daddio is not just a member of a one percenter motorcycle club, but the mother fucking national President. And not only that, but they are a club deep in illegal shit, although the word on the street is that they are working toward legitimacy. That’s not even the actual issue. The issue they have that can bring their club to war isn’t even one they know, which is where we come in.
Learning about our target is my least favorite part of this. She isn’t shy about sharing more than she should on social media. Paisley, the MC princess and my apparent half-sister is an idiot, especially with her need to over-share, including sharing her location. She documents everything everywhere she goes. Sin says she does it because she’s a, and I quote, bad girl biker influencer or some dumb shit like that. I don’t much care. But from what was explained to me, it’s a real thing. To have shit strategically placed in her photos makes her money, and people love that shit.
My sister from another miss is a beautiful girl. I’ll give her that. Princess is living her best life, and I don’t begrudge her for that. But I can definitely tell that she and I are complete and utter opposites in all ways. She’s tall, blonde, skinny, and very clears throat, melanin deficient. And she’s perky, too damn perky.
You’d think with the club’s lifestyle and their illegal dealings. They’d stop letting Princess photograph everything everywhere she goes. I’ve tracked her movements and some of the club’s major players because of her. I’ve even gotten a good look at the clubhouse layout and grounds. It may not be a big deal to some, but with the gravity of this situation, it’s a big damn deal to have that much access. With everything she shares, I’m damned surprised she doesn’t share when she takes a shit.
From what I can tell, they are living their best lives. They don’t seem worried about or care what anyone thinks about them or their lifestyle. And if I’m honest, it is why they need us. That girl will put herself and her father’s club in a situation by unknowingly providing information to enemies she and the club may not be prepared for.
With everything in hand, I’m ready. Ready to meet the man who is my father. Am I nervous? Yes. Who wouldn’t be under the circumstances? My mind continues going a million miles a minute. Even after my call with my sister from another mister Gabriella. Gabby is my best friend, my rock outside my mother and team. We’ve been through some shit together. And have lived a thousand lives and have always been one another’s sounding board. So having her in my life, especially now, is priceless.
I know for a fact that she understands where I’m coming from. She has a mother’s perspective. And as a mother, she gets my need to know my sperm donor. And it also doesn’t hurt that she has ties to the club, just a different chapter. A chapter that is beholden to my sperm donors, which is not a recent development, being that I have always known her story. But now we are connected in more ways than one. Her situation is like my mother’s, but that is not my story to tell.
I know I can’t walk in there like I own shit and demand answers. I explained to Gabby that because of what I know through research, things will not be easy because of the gravity of the situation. My sperm donor and the club may make my ability to do my job difficult, mainly because of her… our target. All Gabby said to that was that I need to make it clear to them that I’m their best bet and the only option they have to get through this without starting a damn war. She isn’t wrong, but my team, for all intents and purposes, isn’t captain save a hoe. So they are going to have to work with us.
After speaking to Gabriella, hearing her perspective and advice calmed me down and made me see reason. She made me see that some choices are difficult. Sometimes, life’s not cut and dry or black and white. Life is messy. Hearing that made me understand my parents a little and calmed me down.
Like it or not, I’m the estranged daughter of the President of the Mother Chapter of Lucifer’s Saints MC, and I will be the one to save their asses. Well, with the help of my team, the organization, and my mother.
What better way to get to know him and his brood than to spend a little time with his family? And preventing the wrong people from getting the upper hand.
You’re wondering exactly what I do? If you haven’t figured it out, you haven’t been paying attention to a damn thing I’ve said. I can’t tell you everything just yet. You know the saying, I’ll have to kill you if I tell you. Well… take that for precisely what it means. I’ll give you a little since you’re here and are patient with me and my crazy rambling. I take out the trash and save the innocent. It’s as simple as that. I’m like Robin Hood and Peter Pan, with a hint of Harley Quinn wrapped in a super cozy pink blanket.
And stop judging. Just because I’m a badass doesn’t mean I can’t love pink.
Listen, Linda… Pink is LIFE!
