No, no, no! I was listening to a podcast a few days ago and the author said 'at least you can control how you think and feel'. The amount of times I have heard this repeated over the years is too many to count. How does it make you feel when you are told this?
If you can control how you think and feel, it's clearly your fault and you are to blame for negative thoughts and feelings. No, no, no!
I wish more people understood that many emotions are generated via triggers and hit you before you have time to blink. No one can stop this from happening. It's what our brains do. Same with thoughts. Most are automatic and if you watch carefully, you can see they pop up out of nothingness.
The take home? No one can totally control their thoughts and feelings, all of the time. Sure, you can choose to think certain thoughts and do things that will create positive emotions. I will save that for another day.
For now, just remember you are not to blame when you are overwhelmed by negative emotions, and troubling thoughts.